Recently, I was thinking about how several Bible principles keep on coming up over and over again as we help women navigate challenges in their marriages.  It dawned on me that 3 of these principles start with the letter P!

Pause:  One of the biggest things you can do when you’re disappointed or frustrated with your husband (or in the middle of an argument) is to pause before you blurt out something that only makes the tension worse!  Pause.  Pause.  Pause.  Take a moment to consider how what you’re about to say will impact the relationship.  Will it likely lead to a healthier relationship or will it crush your husband or cause him to give up on trying to make the marriage work.  Proverbs 12:18  The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.  During that pause, choose words of hope and love, even if you need to set a firm boundary with your husband.

Pivot:  Pivot from past disappointments instead of dwelling on the ways your husband didn’t meet your expectations in the past.  Don’t let bitterness take root and become a cancer in your marriage!  Also, pivot from dwelling on your husband’s flaws or the ways he isn’t meeting your expectations currently.  The devil would LOVE to have you dwell on what’s wrong instead of what’s right. Then you become a sour-faced shrew!  I’m not saying you should avoid setting boundaries with your husband if he’s sinning against you.  However, you must pivot from only focusing on what’s wrong, to purposely reviewing what’s right about him!  Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Pray:  News flash here.  You don’t have the power to change your husband if he is off course. But God does!  So, bring all your concerns to God in continual prayer.  Also, I’ve learned it’s super wise to pray as I sense a disagreement developing with my husband or when I feel disappointed in him.  I pray to God and ask Him to show me what is causing my husband to act that way or take a certain viewpoint.  When I strain to listen to God’s whisper to my heart, He often sheds light on the situation, and I develop a deeper understanding and compassion for my husband.  Jeremiah 33:3  ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’

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