Are you having one of those weeks or months? Has your husband broken your heart? Are you an emotional wreck over a situation with one of your children? Don’t try to carry that burden alone! It’s too heavy.
Even though it would be so helpful to reach out to some godly female friends, many of us tend to isolate during really hard times instead. Unfortunately, that only makes it easier for Satan to beat you down. With no other voices speaking hope into your life, he has free realm to whisper one lie right after another.
Jesus describes Satan this way in John 8:44: “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” The lies may sound like this: No one really loves you. Your life sucks and there’s no hope. You should have never married your husband. God doesn’t really care about you. You’re a failure as a mom compared to all the other moms. There is no way in the world to recover from your financial mess. God could never change your husband’s heart. Blah, blah, blah.
One of the keys to drowning out the voice of the enemy is to listen to other voices! Spend time reading God’s Word. Also, spend time with godly women who can speak truth, wisdom, and hope into your life. If you don’t know any women like that, then it’s time to start building new friendships. I know you might be scared to tell another woman what’s really going on in your marriage and family. However, you might be surprised to find that other women will start opening up to you and sharing their own challenges as you begin sharing yours. Just keep in mind that the point is to encourage each other and pray for each other…not to trash talk your husbands!
Do you wish you could be a more courageous woman, a more secure woman, a more confident woman, and a woman who is able to stand strong under pressure or hardship? I think I’ve found the answer. We must go beyond just accepting Christ as our Savior, and truly decide to make Christ our Lord!
When I think about the ladies I know who are strong, confident and unshakeable Christian women, they all have something in common. They have made the courageous decision to surrender their lives to Jesus and they’ve truly committed to following him as the leader and master of their lives. This is, in fact, what the Bible calls us to do in Romans 10:9…If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. It’s important to note that this Bible verse tells us to declare Jesus as “Lord”, which means “master” in the original Greek.
Have you truly made Jesus your master? Maybe that’s the missing piece in your life. I can tell you from personal experience that once you truly make a heart decision to make Jesus your Lord and master, all His promises to love you, comfort you, and counsel you start to come alive in your spirit. You begin to realize that you can trust his leadership 100%. Once that happens, you’ll find yourself strong, confident and unshakeable!
I know this might sound too simple. I know you could be rolling your eyes as you read this. But give this a chance. A huge key to regaining some of your joy during challenges or after a heartbreaking event is…to focus on the things for which you can be thankful.
All of us tend to focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do have. By doing so, we become bitter, jealous, and depressed women. Now if you actually enjoy being bitter and depressed, you just go right on concentrating on what’s wrong in your life. However, there is a better way to live. God recommends it in the Bible. It’s called being thankful for what you do have. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to “give thanks in all circumstances“. This means disciplining your mind to focus on what is good and right and beautiful. God puts it this way in Philippians 4:8 “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Do you have shelter and plenty of food to eat each day? Wow! You’re in the top 10% of the entire world! Do you have someone in your life (husband, mother, friend, child) who loves you? Wonderful! Do your legs and hands work? Can you see, hear, and taste? Thank God for the health that not everyone enjoys. Has God made himself known to you and drawn your heart to him? Awesome! That means he thinks you’re special and he decided before the beginning of the world to select you to adopt as his child!
Yes, there is a time to grieve losses in our lives. But we can’t stay camped out there! Let’s make a concerted effort to focus our minds on being thankful. Little by little, you may find your joy returning, even during hard times.
While reading the Bible in recent days, I have stumbled upon several women who had tremendous influence over their husbands, but who, unfortunately, used that influence to satisfy their own selfish desires. It reminded me that, as women, we have a powerful allure with men. God wired men to be extremely attracted to the female body. This is awesome when we use that attraction to stay bonded to our husband and when we use that attraction with pure motives. Unfortunately, we don’t always do that.
We can learn what NOT to do from a few women in the Bible. Two that come to mind are Delilah and the daughter of Herodias. Delilah’s story is in Judges 16. The mighty man Samson is so intoxicated with the beauty of Delilah that he finally gives in to her badgering about the source of his power and he tells her his secret. The result? He loses his power, his eyes are gouged out by the enemy, and this once mighty man of God becomes completely ineffective.
The daughter of Herodias is featured in Mark 6. She is beautiful and dances erotically for King Herod. He is so enthralled with her that he becomes stupid! He offers her anything she wants…up to half his kingdom!! She ends up asking for the head of John the Baptist. The result? A mighty man of God, the messenger who paved the way for Jesus Christ, is killed.
Ladies, let’s be careful to wisely use the powerful sex appeal God has given us. You might find it exciting to turn men’s heads by wearing tight or revealing clothes in public, but think twice before you do that. You may destroy another woman’s marriage. You might think it’s cool that you can manipulate your husband through what you do or don’t offer him sexually. Think twice before you do that too. You may end up destroying your man and your own marriage.
We all go through challenging days in our marriages and in our lives in general. It’s at those times; we tend to feel so alone. We desperately need to know that God notices our distress. We need to know that He is with us and that He cares.
Well, despite what Satan is whispering in your ear…that nobody cares…that you’re all alone…that your broken heart will never get better…the Bible tells a different story! I find so much comfort in these verses:
- The Lord is close to the broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18)
- Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)
- You are the God who sees me (Genesis 16:13)
- He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3)
- Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all His benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion. Psalm 103:2-4
Are you in a waiting phase? Maybe you’re waiting for God to answer your prayer regarding your husband. Maybe you’re waiting for your rebellious child, stubborn child to finally become mature. Maybe you’re waiting for your heart to heal after being betrayed by your husband. Whatever the thing you’re waiting for, I think we can all agree that waiting is hard! It’s hard because we have to be patient, and let’s be honest; most of us aren’t very good with the whole patience virtue. These two realizations have helped me learn to be a bit more patient when I have to wait.
1) God’s timing is often very different than what I think it should be, yet He is always faithful to show up. Psalm 40:1-2 “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth…”
2) Some of the great women of the Bible had to wait and wait and wait before finally experiencing a HUGE answer to their prayers. Sarah, Rebekah, Hannah, Rachel, and more all had to wait ridiculously long periods of time before God finally allowed them to give birth. But when their prayers were finally answered, oh my! They gave birth to some of the giants of the Bible: Isaac, Jacob, Samuel, Joseph. In other words, what they experienced in the end was well worth the wait.
— or view this topic as a 3 minute VIDEO HERE
Is there a lot of tension in your home? Are you or your husband stressed much of the time? There’s likely an imbalance in one or both of your lives! I know that’s been the case for my husband and me. In our case, we got so bent on running ministries, counseling others, and helping take care of grandchildren that there was little to no time at all for us to simply relax and enjoy some recreation. God didn’t intend for us to be so “driven” that we can’t enjoy life at all.
On the other hand, Satan wants you to be so busy that you become stressed, pay no attention to nurturing your marriage or yourself, and then both you and your marriage slowly wither and die. But Jesus says He wants us to enjoy life to the full! Meditate on what Jesus says in John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full”.
All work and no play is a formula for disaster. We all need to intentionally carve out time for recreation and rest and fun. My husband and I just got away for a weekend. We relaxed, and it was rejuvenating! Our stress level decreased. My goodness, even Jesus needed to get away from the stress of his work to spend quiet time alone. Luke 5:16 says Jesus “often withdrew to desolate places and prayed” Is there an adjustment you need to make in your schedule or a weekend get-away that you need to plan for you and your husband?