Physical intimacy for the tired wife

For many women, especially moms of young children, making love to their husbands seems like yet one more thing on their to-do-list! For an exhausted wife and mother, the idea of carving out time to be physically intimate with her husband sounds about as thrilling as running 15 miles on the treadmill at the gym at 5 o’clock in the morning!

But here’s the thing. We know that most men have an extremely high sex drive. It isn’t their fault. God made them that way. 🙂 So, one of the kindest and most loving things we can do for our husbands is to meet their sexual needs. We need to strive to build a robust sex life with our husbands, and more than likely, you’ll enjoy it too! To be honest, if we don’t have a vibrant sex life within our marriage, we’re setting up each other to subconsciously look for that excitement with someone else. That’s why Paul instructs us in 1 Corinthians 7:5 “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self control.”

The question is: How does the exhausted wife (and mother) build a robust sex life that both she and her husband enjoy? Well, I believe she takes a really good look at her schedule of activities and responsibilities to see if there are any things she can cut out. I bet there are some things she could reduce or cut completely! Secondly, she asks her husband for help! Can he put the kids to bed so that she has time to wind down and start thinking about enjoying physical intimacy with her husband? Can he do the dishes after dinner or help the kids with their homework so that she can decompress and maybe take a bubble bath before she and her husband head to bed?

Ask your husband if he would be willing to help with some tasks in the evenings so that you are more able to build a robust sex life with him. I bet it is a trade he is willing to make!

Being appreciated for all you do!

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get in a poopy mood (yes, I just used the highly technical term “poopy”!). During my marriage to my late husband Raul, I would get in this grumpy mood when I did something sacrificial for my husband and he didn’t even seem to notice! For instance, even though both my husband and I worked full-time in ministry, I decided that, for a while, I would do all the household cleaning chores so that my husband would be freed up to serve God even more. I did this for a several-month stretch one year.


Did I enjoy vacuuming, dusting, cleaning toilets? No, I did not. Did I sometimes feel grumpy when I cleaned the house after already working a full day? Yes, I did. But then I thought, “well, at least my husband will sing my praises when he gets home and notices all I’ve done”. However, even though I subtly pointed out to him what I had done, much to my shock, sometimes he didn’t say anything at all. What!?!


It’s at that time that God graciously reminded me that He noticed all I had done, and He was pleased. I know that God was pleased whenever I served my husband because God instructs us in Matthew 9:35 that “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”
God always notices what we’re doing even when no one else sees it! In Matthew 6:4, the Bible reminds us that “your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” Let’s take heart that we are pleasing the “right” man when we serve our others sacrificially. That right man is Jesus.