moms

Facing something daunting?

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

If we could all truly embrace the Biblical principle of taking just one day at a time, we would all be better off! Yes, this is a Bible principle. Jesus says in Matthew 6:34: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” In other words, instead of worrying and fretting about the “what if…” questions, Jesus tells us to just focus on doing what we should do today.
How does this apply to you? If it seems overwhelming to you to put your marriage back together after betrayal, just choose to move forward, one day at a time. If you tend to avoid confronting your husband or establishing boundaries on wrong behavior because you fear the possibility of future tension, trust in Jesus and move forward, one day at a time. If it seems daunting to take off the 50 pounds you’ve gained in recent years, don’t think about how hard this is going to be for the rest of your life. Just choose to eat healthy today and take it one day at a time.
Worrying about the future is pointless. Being consumed by the “what if…” questions will only keep you trapped in fear. Let’s do what Jesus says. Let’s decide each morning to do what we know we should do that day, and let’s trust God to handle tomorrow.

Priorities for the Christian woman

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Lots of Christian women wonder what their priorities should be. Should husband come before kids? Should financial security come before family time? Should house-keeping come before leisure time? Well, I’m not going to answer those specific questions because I’ve learned they are the wrong questions! When it comes to priorities, God is urging all of us to put his kingdom purposes and plans above ALL else! Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
It’s such a simple and concise instruction from the Lord, but make no mistake, it’s hard to carry out! Our fleshly desires cry out for us to focus on personal happiness, and financial security, and “success” for our children, and luxurious vacations, and a new wardrobe. Our culture, through both advertisements and social media, constantly reminds us that we should have it all. We deserve it all.
However, God is calling us to place Him above everything and everyone else. He is desperate for people who are desperate for Him. He’s calling us to repentance. He’s calling us to pray continually. He’s calling us to loosen our grip on our money and possessions and to give to the poor. He’s calling us to honor and obey Him as our first priority. We say we want revival, but are we earnestly seeking the Lord above all else? We get some great clues about what leads to revival when we look at what the early followers of Jesus did immediately after he ascended to heaven following his resurrection. Read Acts 2:38-47 to get inspired!
By the way, you’ll likely find that as you seek the Lord above all else, you will become a more peaceful wife and mom!

Stress & tension in your home

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Is there a lot of tension in your home? Are you or your husband stressed much of the time? There’s likely an imbalance in one or both of your lives! I know that was sometimes the case for me and my husband Raul over the years. In our situation, we got so bent on running ministries, counseling others, and helping take care of grandchildren that there was little to no time at all for us to simply relax and get filled back up. God didn’t intend for us to be so “driven” that we became grouchy, irritable, cantankerous people!

On the other hand, Satan wants you to be so busy that you become stressed, pay no attention to nurturing your marriage or yourself, and then both you and your marriage slowly wither and die. But Jesus says He wants us to enjoy life to the full! Meditate on what Jesus says in John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full”.

All work and no play is a formula for disaster. We need to intentionally carve out some “down time” for rest, recreation and fun. When my husband and I could feel the stress mounting, we would choose to get away for a day or a weekend. We relaxed, and it was rejuvenating! Our stress level decreased. My goodness, even Jesus needed to get away from the stress of his work to spend quiet time alone. Luke 5:16 says Jesus “often withdrew to desolate places and prayed” Is there an adjustment you need to make in your schedule or a weekend get-away that you need to plan for you and your husband?

Priorities for moms and wives

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I’m rather slow to learn some lessons in life and as a wife.  One of the things I wish I had realized earlier is that it is entirely too easy for a mom to get so focused on nurturing her children that she subconsciously pushes her husband aside.  In fact, in my first marriage, I remember thinking to myself…”My husband is an adult so he can take care of himself.  It’s my kids who really need all my attention.”  Not good thinking!

Of course, moms need to take care of their children’s needs, and we do need to spend time nurturing and disciplining them.  However, our children can become idols in our life. When our world revolves around our kids’ successes and failures…and on their activities and their schedule…well, then we’ve made our children into idols.  When anyone or anything besides God becomes our focus in life, then it has become our idol and our god.  One of the big 10 commandments addresses this!  Exodus 20:3 “You shall have no other gods before me.”

One of the casualties of this idolizing of our kids is our husbands.  The bizarre thing is that the very children we were determined to protect end up severely wounded as mom and dad become distant, begin to argue, and often end up divorcing each other.  Don’t let this happen to you.  Be intentional about spending quality time with both your husband and your children.  Even more important than that, spend quality time with God.  He must truly be your number one focus in life!

2 tips to keep your house tidy!

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Many women struggle with keeping their house organized and tidy.  This is no surprise.  After all, many women are juggling so many responsibilities. They may have several children, hold a full or part-time job outside the home, try to fit in regular exercise to keep their bodies healthy and trim, and of course, try to keep the passion burning with their husband.  It’s no wonder that they don’t have time to keep the house tidy!  But the Bible indicates an excellent wife will manage her household well (Proverbs 31:27 “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”)

So what’s the overwhelmed wife to do?  Well, there are two simple things you can do to help you keep your house picked-up and tidy.  1)  Purchase plenty of inexpensive bins, or boxes or containers of some kind.   It’s extremely difficult to keep the house tidy if you don’t have a place to store things!  If you have children, make sure you have enough storage containers for their toys, shoes, school backpacks, etc.  If you find Sunday school papers and projects strewn around the house, buy a bin just for those things and ask the kids to always put those things in that particular bin.  Have a container for everything!

2)  Pick a time every day (perhaps after dinner or 30 minutes before bedtime), and tell the family that everyone is going to spend 15 minutes putting everything where it belongs.  This means picking up clothes off their floors and putting dirty clothes in the laundry bin.  This means picking up toys and putting them in their proper containers.  You will find that if the whole family spends 15 minutes picking up every day that the situation will stay under control and you won’t be overwhelmed with a house that looks like a tornado tore through it!

A huge need of your children

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

If you love your children, one of the MOST important things you can do for them is to keep your marriage healthy and intact!  Not to scare you, but the research regarding children from divorced families is alarming.  Perhaps this is one reason the Bible says in Malachi 2:16, “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce“.  God knows the devastating impact of divorce on children’s lives.

Research by Focus on the Family has found that teens from divorced homes are much more likely to engage in drug and alcohol use, as well as sexual intercourse than are those from intact families.  Also, kids whose parents divorce are substantially more likely to be incarcerated for committing a crime as a juvenile.  Plus, research from the Heritage Foundation found that children of divorced parents perform more poorly at school and have higher drop-out rates.

Yes, God can heal a child’s heart following a divorce, but the scars will remain.  So, work hard to keep your marriage healthy and strong.  Pray every day for your husband and pray daily for marriage guidance from the Lord.  See a counselor if you guys are fighting a lot or if you are growing increasingly resentful.  Don’t let your heart grow hard.  Fight for your marriage.  Your kids will thank you!

A message for tired supermoms!

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Most women have extremely busy schedules these days.  I don’t know if life has always been so chaotic for women, but it sure is that way in 2024!  If you’re a wife and a mom, you’re likely running around like crazy trying to take care of the kids and your man and the household and schooling (possibly at home) and maybe even a full-time job.  Whew.  I get stressed out just listing all your roles.

Let’s not kid ourselves.  None of us is Super Woman.  You have limited time and physical energy.  You also have only so much you can give mentally, emotionally and spiritually before you’re completely drained.  That’s why it’s vital for you and me to take a break during each and every day to refresh ourselves.  We do NOT need to feel guilty about this.  Even Jesus “often withdrew to desolate places” (Luke 5:16) to take a break from the demands of people and refresh his soul.  We also need to step out of the desert and onto a lush oasis for a half hour or so in order to rehydrate our souls.  We just need to make sure we choose a healthy oasis.

What is your oasis?  What recharges your batteries?  What refreshes your soul?  Reading a good novel (not a smutty one though!)?  Lying on your bed surrounded by fluffy pillows?  Drinking a cup of coffee while writing in your journal?  Reading a chapter in the Bible and then closing your eyes to meditate on what God is saying to you?  Taking a bubble bath?  Scrapbooking?  Listening to worship music while sitting in front of the fireplace?  Checking out tasty recipes on Pinterest?  Dancing to 70’s music in your living room while no one is watching?

Message for women who make lists!

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Hello.  My name is Debbie Chavez, and I’m a list-aholic.  Yes, I admit it.  I love being super- organized, and I love “accomplishing” a lot every day.  It makes me feel good about myself.  In fact, my compulsion to accomplish tons of stuff everyday is so bad…..if I do something that was not on my list, I actually add it onto my list so that I can scratch it out! 

There is nothing wrong with completing many tasks each day, and there is certainly nothing wrong with being organized, but when we become a slave to our lists, we have a problem.  How about you?  Are you a list-acholic?  Here’s what I’ve been noticing lately.  When I become a slave to my to-do list, I am not a very peaceful woman.  I become a driven person, and I’m not flexible enough to respond to new situations or needs in my family.  Perhaps we need to meditate on the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:40-42.  Martha was busy bustling about with tasks, while Mary sat peacefully at the feet of Jesus.  Jesus gently rebuked Martha in verse 42 saying, “Martha, Martha…you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed, or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better…”

So, maybe you and I should stop being neurotic about our lists!  I am still making a list each day, but unless something on that list is absolutely critical, I’m allowing myself to skip some of the items in order to respond to my family or friends if I can see that they could use my help or encouragement.  If you’re a wife, I believe this adjustment could make you more like the 1 Peter 3 wife.  She is described as having a “gentle and quiet spirit”.  I don’t think she could be quiet and peaceful if she was running around like a chicken with her head cut off!  She obviously wasn’t a slave to a long to-do-list.   The question is:  Do you need to re-evaluate your lists?