Are you feeling weary, discouraged or burdened? Perhaps you’re feeling frustrated with others or even yourself. This remedy might seem strange, but God says that when we meditate on His principles and begin applying them in our lives, our souls will be refreshed! Psalm 19:7-8 says “The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.”
Maybe your soul is weary or discouraged because you’ve been trying to handle difficult people and circumstances with your own wisdom. Maybe it’s time to search out God’s wisdom instead. For instance, if you are depressed about your husband’s continuing verbal abuse toward you and your children, maybe your soul will be refreshed as you read God’s instructions for dealing with someone who is sinning against you. You might want to read Matthew 18:15-17.
Perhaps you’re dealing with a rebellious child who isn’t responding to your explanations about why he or she should listen to you. Maybe your soul will be refreshed as you read God’s instructions for molding your children into people of character. You might want to read Proverbs 13:24 “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”
Many women struggle with keeping their house organized and tidy. This is no surprise. After all, many women are juggling so many responsibilities. They may have several children, hold a full or part-time job outside the home, try to fit in regular exercise to keep their bodies healthy and trim, and of course, try to keep the passion burning with their husband. It’s no wonder that they don’t have time to keep the house tidy! But the Bible indicates an excellent wife will manage her household well (Proverbs 31:27 “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”)
So what’s the overwhelmed wife to do? Well, there are two simple things you can do to help you keep your house picked-up and tidy. 1) Purchase plenty of inexpensive bins, or boxes or containers of some kind. It’s extremely difficult to keep the house tidy if you don’t have a place to store things! If you have children, make sure you have enough storage containers for their toys, shoes, school backpacks, etc. If you find Sunday school papers and projects strewn around the house, buy a bin just for those things and ask the kids to always put those things in that particular bin. Have a container for everything!
2) Pick a time every day (perhaps after dinner or 30 minutes before bedtime), and tell the family that everyone is going to spend 15 minutes putting everything where it belongs. This means picking up clothes off their floors and putting dirty clothes in the laundry bin. This means picking up toys and putting them in their proper containers. You will find that if you spend 15 minutes picking up every day that the situation will stay under control and you won’t be overwhelmed with a house that looks like a tornado tore through it!
Some women bottle up their frustrations in marriage and in life in general. These women are uncomfortable working through conflict and try to ignore the problem, defaulting to a cold war or silent treatment. However, some women find themselves at the other extreme. When they get irritated or frustrated with their husband, they let him have it! They often speak critical, bitter words to their men, and those words cut their men deeply. The wound is especially deep because a man is wired to crave respect. That’s why the Bible instructs wives in Ephesians 5:33 “The wife must respect her husband“.
So, what can you do if you’ve tried to stop spewing mean, harsh, bitter words, and your attempts seem to fail most of the time? Well, the Bible gives us a big clue on what you need to do. Luke 6:45 says “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” The cure for a quick temper or critical tongue is to pray for God to change your heart! Ask God to fill your heart with love and compassion and patience for your husband. Pray this daily.
P.S. In addition to praying for a heart of love, make sure you don’t have major unaddressed issues with your husband. If you hang onto resentment over unresolved conflict, that’s like covering a skillet of oil with a tight lid, setting it to simmer and then walking away expecting it to stay at a calm simmer. Without a vent, it will eventually explode, splattering the scalding oil everywhere! If you have unresolved conflict with your man, decide to respectfully and gently confront these issues so your simmering heart doesn’t explode through your mouth!
In my current Bible reading, I’ve been struck with how many times God used women to take a bold, courageous, and wise stand against the enemy. There are so many occasions where a woman steps out to lead or help God’s people when the enemy is attacking. Here are some of the examples: Abigail (in 1 Samuel 25) acts wisely when her husband did not. Rahab (Joshua 2) hides God’s people from the enemy. Deborah (Judges 4) courageously leads the people of God into war against the enemy. Esther (Esther 4 & 5) boldly intercedes for God’s people even though it was dangerous for her to do so. The wise woman (2 Samuel 20) reasoned with an enemy who was about to destroy her city and her wisdom saved the city.
What can we learn from these women? They were all very alert to the enemy’s schemes and they all boldly chose to take action against the enemy, trusting in God for the outcome. So here is the question for you: Do you see the enemy attacking your husband, your marriage, your family, or individual children? If you do, are you going to just wring your hands in despair, or are you going to take action? Hopefully, you will become a courageous woman of action! What does God want you to do? Do you need to commit to press into prayer every single day, several times a day? Do you need to boldly confront an issue? Do you need to get wise counsel from a godly woman? Do you need to ask others to pray with you?
It is so incredibly easy to get out of balance as a wife, a mother, an employee, a ministry leader, a homemaker, a boss, etc. We can let our “roles” consume us. We compare ourselves to other women in those roles and feel we’re somehow lacking. Then we start picking up self-help books, we google “how to become a better __________”, we attend classes and workshops, we beat ourselves up for not being as “good” as other women, we relentlessly push ourselves to be better! And the whole time, we push our relationship with God farther and farther away. I mean, who even has time for God when we are completely focused on being the best ___________.
Sometimes we need to pull back and refocus our attention and adoration on God. We need to readjust our heart posture. We need to go back to square one and spend time worshiping the creator of the universe…the one who created you! Colossians 3:1-2 says “Since then you have been raised with Christ, set your heart on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.”
I find when I spend time worshiping God and spending some quiet moments just sitting with Him, I gain a whole new perspective on what’s important. I am better able to choose how to use my limited time and energy. I don’t feel so driven to compete with the other wives and moms and ministry leaders. Spend 10 minutes every day this week simply worshiping God. Crank up the worship music if that helps. As you focus on the majesty and love of Christ, you will develop a heart posture that brings balance….and peace.
If you love your children, one of the MOST important things you can do for them is to keep your marriage healthy and intact! Not to scare you, but the research regarding children from divorced families is alarming. Perhaps this is one reason the Bible says in Malachi 2:16, “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce”. God knows the devastating impact of divorce on children’s lives.
Research by Focus on the Family has found that teens from divorced homes are much more likely to engage in drug and alcohol use, as well as sexual intercourse than are those from intact families. Also, kids whose parents divorce are substantially more likely to be incarcerated for committing a crime as a juvenile. Plus, research from the Heritage Foundation found that children of divorced parents perform more poorly at school and have higher drop-out rates.
Yes, God can heal a child’s heart following a divorce, but the scars will remain. So, work hard to keep your marriage healthy and strong. Pray every day for your husband and pray daily for marriage guidance from the Lord. See a counselor if you guys are fighting a lot or if you are growing increasingly resentful. Don’t let your heart grow hard. Fight for your marriage. Your kids will thank you!
You know the saying “If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy”? It’s so true! So if you’ve noticed your kids have been acting up a lot and/or your husband is grouchy, one possible reason is because YOU are not peaceful. Your mood and your stress are contagious.
Ask God to reveal to you what things may be causing a foul mood or extra stress in your life, and then ask Him to show you if there are things you can do to improve the situation. Is there something stressful in your life that you should eliminate? Do you need to ask God to help you forgive someone instead of holding onto bitterness and resentment?
Do whatever it takes to regain a peaceful and gentle spirit. God instructs wives to have such a demeanor in 1 Peter 3:3-4 where He says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” Let’s become beautiful to our husbands and children by cultivating that gentle and quiet spirit. You may have to make some changes in your schedule, but it will be worth it!
— or view this topic as a 2 minute VIDEO HERE