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Understand the male brain!

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I had an interesting conversation with my husband Mark recently.  I asked him “What is something you think women should know about men that they generally don’t understand?”  This led to a long discussion about the differences between the wiring of a man’s brain and a woman’s brain.  His answer was rather surprising and interesting.  If I can summarize correctly, Mark said that most men look at a problem or task and quickly process the most efficient and best way to tackle it, while women can often take a while to deliberate and talk about all the different possible solutions.  He went on to say that a man’s brain is wired to think of logical ways to address problems with as little extra work as possible.

This made me realize that a small way we can bless our husbands is to ask them for their input when we have a task or problem to solve, and then to heed their advice!  This means we will have to tell our pride to take a hike!  

 I think most women, if you’re like me, would take offense if my husband told me the “right way” to do something.  However, I’m thinking that maybe, just maybe, I would be wise to listen to my husband’s advice.  Two Bible verses come to mind. 

Proverbs 12:15 Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.

1 Peter 5:5-6 “Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble'”

Additionally, what a blessing it would be to my husband if I stuffed my pride and asked for his input and advice regarding a task or problem.  He would likely feel greatly respected by me. Your husband would too.

If he doesn’t notice your efforts

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Have you found yourself really frustrated with your husband because you put a bunch of effort into making a great dinner or tidying up the house and he didn’t voice appreciation?  Have you found yourself really bummed out because you took great pains to dress up for date night and your husband didn’t seem to really notice?  What gives?

First, it’s important for you to realize that just because he didn’t voice appreciation, doesn’t mean he could care less about what you’ve done!  I bet he loved your dinner and I’m sure he liked the way you looked for date night.  Here is the possible reason for the disconnect.  Men are wired to be providers.  God created men to work and take care of creation (Genesis 2:15 says “The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.”)  It’s only natural that men are focused on their work.  So, when they step through the front door at the end of their workday, their brain is still engaged in work.  They are still thinking about their job and what’s coming up tomorrow at work.  They may be physically present at home, but their minds are often still back on the job. 

So, instead of getting frustrated, tell your husband how much you appreciate his hard work for your family.  Be his chief encourager.  Then, after he’s had a while to unwind from his day of work, ask him how he liked the dinner or the tidy house.  Tell him you put some extra effort into your hair and makeup and ask him if he likes it.  I know you feel like you shouldn’t have to prompt him with these questions.  You would like your man to notice and voice appreciation without your prompting, but most men simply aren’t wired that way.  So simply ask him, and then listen to his response. More than likely, he will say the dinner was good.  More than likely, he will say you look great.  Accept the compliment!  Embrace the compliment, even though it may come with little emotion and, yes, even though he had to be asked. 😊