When you think of the curses placed on Adam and Eve after they ate the forbidden apple, you probably think of Adam having to toil to bring food to the table and you likely think of Eve having to endure pain in childbirth. However, there is another curse placed on Eve that may have escaped your notice. It’s found in Genesis 3:16 where God says “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you“. That word “desire” in the original Hebrew means “to run to, to stretch out after, to have a vehement desire for”. Oh my. This explains a lot!
Almost all women struggle with almost an insane, overwhelming desire to secure a man. And this starts early! In fact, over the years, as I’ve observed my granddaughters at toddler age, they have tended to gravitate to their grandpas, dads, and boy cousins. Hmmm.
My point is this. If we recognize this curse, we will be more able to deal with it. The curse may explain why it’s so difficult for most women to establish and enforce boundaries with their husbands when their men are sinning against them by using pornography, drinking excessively, gambling large sums of money, spending time with other women, etc. If we do indeed have a deep instinctive desire (curse) to desperately hang onto our guy, we believe we can’t do anything to threaten our grip! This explains a lot, doesn’t it? Knowledge is the beginning of understanding. Ask Jesus to give you clarity about how your thoughts and actions are being affected by the curse. Then ask Him to give you courage and strength to make wise decisions. Tip: When you stop making a man the most important thing in your life and make Jesus your main relationship, then you will have the courage and confidence to set wise boundaries in your marriage (or dating relationships)!
Hello. My name is Debbie Chavez, and I’m a list-aholic. Yes, I admit it. I love being super- organized, and I love “accomplishing” a lot every day. It makes me feel good about myself. In fact, my compulsion to accomplish tons of stuff everyday is so bad…..if I do something that was not on my list, I actually add it onto my list so that I can scratch it out!
There is nothing wrong with completing many tasks each day, and there is certainly nothing wrong with being organized, but when we become a slave to our lists, we have a problem. How about you? Are you a list-acholic? Here’s what I’ve been noticing lately. When I become a slave to my to-do list, I am not a very peaceful woman. I become a driven person, and I’m not flexible enough to respond to new situations or needs in my family. Perhaps we need to meditate on the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:40-42. Martha was busy bustling about with tasks, while Mary sat peacefully at the feet of Jesus. Jesus gently rebuked Martha in verse 42 saying, “Martha, Martha…you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed, or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better…”
So, maybe you and I should stop being neurotic about our lists! I am still making a list each day, but unless something on that list is absolutely critical, I’m allowing myself to skip some of the items in order to respond to my family or friends if I can see that they could use my help or encouragement. If you’re a wife, I believe this adjustment could make you more like the 1 Peter 3 wife. She is described as having a “gentle and quiet spirit”. I don’t think she could be quiet and peaceful if she was running around like a chicken with her head cut off! She obviously wasn’t a slave to a long to-do-list. The question is: Do you need to re-evaluate your lists?
Do you wish you could be a more courageous woman, a more secure woman, a more confident woman, and a woman who is able to stand strong under pressure or hardship? I think I’ve found the answer. We must go beyond just accepting Christ as our Savior, and truly decide to make Christ our Lord!
When I think about the ladies I know who are strong, confident and unshakeable Christian women, they all have something in common. They have made the courageous decision to surrender their lives to Jesus and they’ve truly committed to following him as the leader and master of their lives. This is, in fact, what the Bible calls us to do in Romans 10:9…If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. It’s important to note that this Bible verse tells us to declare Jesus as “Lord”, which means “master” in the original Greek.
Have you truly made Jesus your master? Maybe that’s the missing piece in your life. I can tell you from personal experience that once you truly make a heart decision to make Jesus your Lord and master, all His promises to love you, comfort you, and counsel you start to come alive in your spirit. You begin to realize that you can trust his leadership 100%. Once that happens, you’ll find yourself strong, confident and unshakeable!
Virtually every woman wrestles with the persistent and often debilitating problem called insecurity. It can start so early in life as a 5 or 6 year old girl hears the neighbor girl described as beautiful, while nothing at all is said about her. It can develop when other kids easily bring home straight A’s in middle school, but you struggle to maintain a B average. It can suck the life out of you when no one asks you to the sophomore dance or senior prom, and you start telling yourself that you’re ugly and no one wants you.
What I’ve learned over the years is that the enemy is often the one whispering discouragement and ugly lies into our minds and we end up quietly repeating those lies over and over again until we sink into a pit of despair! Enough of that!
We can begin to defeat the demon of insecurity when we start coaching our souls with the truth. The truth is found in the Bible and what God says about us. Did you know in Romans 9:25, God says “Her who was not beloved, I will call beloved”? Wow! That rocks my boat! How about you? God says you are his beloved. That word is a healing balm to my wounded heart. That word “beloved” means God cherishes me and dearly loves me. Yes!! I needed to hear that.
God also tells us in Hebrews 13:5 that “I will never leave you nor forsake you”. That means that no matter what crazy or oppressive circumstance I’m in, God will never leave my side. He is with me through all struggles and trials. Yes! I needed to hear that too!
Don’t listen to the voice of the enemy, and for heaven’s sake, don’t repeat his lies! Start coaching your soul with truth from God’s Word. That’s when you’ll triumph over the devil’s plans to oppress you and begin to truly flourish as a woman of confidence!
I thought the title of this devotional would get your attention!! 🙂 However, I’m not talking about guys lusting after scantily-clad Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. Instead, I’m talking about how men are naturally drawn to women who are cheerleaders in the sense of being their supporters and encouragers. So let me ask you this question. Does your husband sense that you are his cheerleader?
Most men struggle with feeling inadequate. Most men wrestle with feeling like a failure. Many men may never put effort into being a better father, husband, employee, or disciple of Jesus because they fear failure. In other words, they’d rather not try at all if it means they could risk the embarrassment of people noticing them failing in their endeavor. Perhaps this is why God instructed Joshua over and over again to “be strong and courageous” (Joshua 1:9). Joshua’s natural bent was to fear failure instead of stepping out with courage.
This is where a wife can make a huge difference! By speaking words of encouragement and affirmation and respect, your husband may find the courage to move forward. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 instructs us to “encourage one another and build each other up“. By becoming your husband’s cheerleader, your man may risk failure to step out and seek to be become a stronger, and more godly leader of your family. Wouldn’t that be awesome?!