woman

A hazard for high-achiever women!

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Hello.  My name is Debbie Chavez, and I’m a list-aholic.  Yes, I admit it.  I love being super- organized, and I love “accomplishing” a lot every day.  It makes me feel good about myself.  In fact, my compulsion to accomplish tons of stuff everyday is so bad…..if I do something that was not on my list, I actually add it onto my list so that I can scratch it out! 

There is nothing wrong with completing many tasks each day, and there is certainly nothing wrong with being organized, but when we become a slave to our lists, we have a problem.  How about you?  Are you a list-acholic?  Here’s what I’ve been noticing lately.  When I become a slave to my to-do list, I am not a very peaceful woman.  I become a driven person, and I’m not flexible enough to respond to new situations or needs in my family.  Perhaps we need to meditate on the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:40-42.  Martha was busy bustling about with tasks, while Mary sat peacefully at the feet of Jesus.  Jesus gently rebuked Martha in verse 42 saying, “Martha, Martha…you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed, or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better…”

So, maybe you and I should stop being neurotic about our lists!  I am still making a list each day, but unless something on that list is absolutely critical, I’m allowing myself to skip some of the items in order to respond to my family or friends if I can see that they could use my help or encouragement.  If you’re a wife, I believe this adjustment could make you more like the 1 Peter 3 wife.  She is described as having a “gentle and quiet spirit”.  I don’t think she could be quiet and peaceful if she was running around like a chicken with her head cut off!  She obviously wasn’t a slave to a long to-do-list.   The question is:  Do you need to re-evaluate your lists?

Priorities for your relationships

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I’ve learned some humongous lessons in life, and I would love to share one of the biggest lessons with you.  I’ve discovered that it’s super important to keep 2 relationships as top priorities.

First, and most importantly, we MUST keep our relationship with the Lord as our primary relationship.  That relationship must be the one where we seek to find lasting love, security, and fulfillment.  Why is this so important?  Well, certainly Jesus tells us in Matthew 22 that the most important command is to love the Lord your God.  But beyond that, I’ve learned that the Lord is truly the only one you can ALWAYS depend on to be there.  He is the ONLY one who will never leave you.  He is the ONLY one who never changes.  He is the ONLY one you can truly count on. 

I learned that gigantic lesson when my beloved husband Raul suddenly passed away in 2021.  If I had “placed all my eggs in the basket” of my husband Raul, I would have been completely flattened and destroyed when he unexpectedly died.  Even though his death was extremely painful (and still is), I was able to carry on because Raul was not my primary relationship.  My relationship with God was my main source of love, joy, purpose and security.  If you’re married, make sure you don’t idolize your husband or your marriage.  Seek God each and every day, and make sure He is your top relationship!   As Psalm 16:5 says, “Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure”.

Additionally, I’ve learned that it’s dangerous to put a higher priority on your children than your husband.  Of course, your children need you, and of course, they are dearly loved, but if you focus almost exclusively on your kids and rarely focus time, energy and love on your husband, your marriage will probably enter a slow death spiral.  Then, the kids that you so dearly love will be deeply scared by a divorce. Don’t let that happen to you or your children.  Put a high priority on investing in your marriage, right AFTER your relationship with God.

** or view this topic as a 3 minute VIDEO BELOW

What I wish mom had told me

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I wish my mom had told me sooooo many things! 

  • I wish she would have warned me that high school age boys with raging hormones would pressure me to have sex and use the infamous line “If you love me, you will….”  
  • I wish she would have told me that following God’s ways, instead of the ways of the culture, leads to great blessing and peace.  Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
  • I wish I would have known that a marriage will never survive if your husband is sinning against you, and you avoid addressing the issue because of fear of conflict.
  • I wish I would have known that if you continue avoiding conflict, your heart will start to grow so hard and cold toward your husband that the devil will gain a huge foothold in your marriage, and you will likely spiral down into divorce.  Ephesians 4:26-27   “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
  • I wish my mom had told me that a Christian woman CAN and should set boundaries on sinful behavior of her husband, and perhaps even separate for a while if necessary.  (Matthew 18:15-17)
  • I wish my mom had told me that a marriage can be better than you ever imagined if both spouses follow the Lord, die to self, and strive to be a blessing to the other.  That is the secret sauce of marriage!  Galatians 5:13 says “serve one another humbly in love.”
  • I wish I would have known that even after your spouse is ripped away from you in death, that God is still good to those who trust in Him, and He can and will bring beauty from ashes.  Psalm 103:4-5  who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

I may not be your mother, but now you know!!!

Are you rejecting your identity?

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I know far too many Christian women who tell me they feel unworthy, unlovable, and too much of a failure for God to really care about them. Such a stinking lie from the enemy! In fact, I would even go so far as to say that if you are one of those women, you are calling God a liar. Yikes!


Despite how your earthly mother and father treated you when you were a child, and despite how people in your recent years have treated you, if you have accepted Jesus as your Savior, then God says, “You are my child, and I love you”!


Is it time for you to come into alignment with the truth of what God says about you and your identity? Is it time for you to stop arguing with God and simply say “Thank you!”? Here is what God says about you if you have indeed declared Jesus as your Savior and you’re serious about trying to honor Him:


Ephesians 1:5 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.
Romans 9:25 “Her who was not beloved I will call ‘beloved.’”
Matthew 7:11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.
Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you; He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love; He will rejoice over you with singing.

**or view this topic as a 3 minute VIDEO BELOW