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Dating guide for Christian women

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I never thought I would be dating again late in life, but when my beloved husband Raul passed away in November of 2021, I sensed that God was saying he would provide another husband as my life partner for the rest of my years.  So I began that crazy, sometimes frustrating, journey of dating!

I began applying some of the dating insights I had gleaned over my many years here on this earth along with guiding Bible principles.  So, I want to pass on some of that to you in this short little devotional.

First, God makes it clear that a Christian should not be linked in close partnership with an unbeliever.  2 Corinthians 6:14  Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?  This is critical!  If you end up marrying an unbeliever, Satan has total entry to wreak havoc in your marriage!  You two will not be pulling the same direction.  Also, without the Bible as a moral compass, your husband will have no constraints on immoral or disrespectful behavior, and that can definitely lead to heartbreak for you.

Next, keep in mind that a lot of guys might SAY they are a Christian, and they might even attend church, but that does NOT mean they are a true follower of Jesus.  You need to look for evidence of Christ’s presence in their life.  Do they show any fruit of the spirit?  Galatians 5:22-23  the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control.

And here’s one other huge tip.  Stay sexually pure while dating. Save sex until your marriage.  This is clearly God’s will, and when we obey God, he blesses us.  I don’t know about you but I want to have God’s blessing!!  Here are 4 quick little tips to avoid falling into sexual sin while dating:

  1. Don’t get horizontal!
  2. Don’t stay overnight at each other’s homes even if you have good intentions to sleep on the couch.
  3. Don’t stay together after midnight because that’s usually when temptation creeps in.
  4. Resist the urge to French kiss before marriage. I know it’s tempting, but it’s also super arousing and may lead to where you vowed not to go until marriage!

Forgiving relatives who hurt you

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Wounds received by a person in close relationship with you are especially damaging.  Whether it’s your mom, your husband, your sister or your grandpa….when a loved one says something or does something hurtful, the wound cuts exceptionally deep.  After all, you were supposed to be able to trust that relative to love you!  As a result, we’re often stunned when their behavior cuts like a knife instead.

As a believer, we know we’re instructed by God to forgive those who sin against us, but that’s quite a heavy-lift when the person who sinned against us was supposed to be a person we could totally trust.  So, how do we forgive a relative who has sinned against us?  Here are 4 quick insights from the Bible.

  1. It’s essential that you remind yourself that both you and that relative are sinners and you both are in need of mercy and grace!  Sometimes, we conveniently forget that we have also let people down or sinned against people in the past.  Once you remind yourself that you too are a sinner, it’s much easier to forgive that other person, because they kind of resemble you!  Colossians 3:13 says “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
  2. Pray for God to give you a compassionate heart and unconditional love for that relative, because that’s how God treats you and I, even though we are sinners.  Psalm 103:8 “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love.”
  3. Make the decision to release that relative from your desire to punish them or seek revenge for what they did to you.   This is what God instructs in Romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 
  4. Because trust has been broken in a close relationship, ask God (and perhaps some godly mentors) whether you should have any boundaries with that relative moving forward.  If staying in close relationship with this person could cause serious physical, emotional, mental or spiritual harm to you, God may want you to keep your distance, at least for a period of time.  Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.