unhealthy

Signs of insanity in relationships!

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Do you continue to experience problems in your marriage or other significant relationships?  I know it’s tempting to think it’s all the other person’s fault, but I have to ask you this question.  Is it possible that one of your own behavior patterns is contributing to the problems in that relationship?   Let me ask the question another way.  Are you continuing on with your old dysfunctional way of operating in relationships, expecting different results?  That’s the definition of insanity?  If the way you’ve been doing things in relationships hasn’t yielded great results, maybe it’s time to try a new way!  Listen to God’s blunt advice to us in Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.  Let’s not be dogs returning to vomit!  Let us not be fools who keep repeating their folly.

We all tend to have a dysfunctional pattern or two!  It’s easy to see the other person’s defects and flawed patterns of behavior, but it’s much more difficult to recognize our own.  Maybe it’s time to ask God if there is any behavioral pattern of yours that could use attention and change.  For instance, if you’re a conflict avoider, and if you keep stuffing your resentment under the rug (hoping that it will just go away), maybe God is asking you to consider dealing with issues in the relationship in a more direct way.  If you have had issues with anger in relationships, anger that has caused destruction, maybe God is saying it’s time to see a counselor to get to the root of your anger issues so that you don’t continue blowing up your relationships.

Sit with God and ask Him if there is an old pattern of operating in relationships that would benefit from a makeover.  Then ask Him to give you the courage and wisdom to chart a new path.

A way husband could help you

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

For over a dozen years, I tended to constantly pick at a dysfunctional relationship in my life.  It drove me a little crazy that I was estranged from some relatives.  I kept on feeling like I needed to “fix it”.  This went on for so many years!  And I think Satan had my number on this.  Just when I thought I had sorted through my responsibility in the situation and had come to the conclusion that I had done everything I should, Satan whispered into my ear once again “this is your fault”…”you aren’t handling this correctly as a Christian”…blah, blah, blah.  And the cycle repeated itself every few months…for years!

I was feeling that way again a couple of years ago, and I rehashed that fractured relationship once again with my husband.  Bless his heart!  I’m so thankful that he was actually be patient with me as I talked through that situation over and over again every few months.  Anyway, he quickly reminded me that I had done everything I could.  He helped me to see the situation objectively.  Where I was consumed with emotions and doubt, he could see more clearly and objectively.  As Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.  For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”

Sometimes, you and I really do need our husband’s counsel.  Often, they are less emotional than we are.  Many times, they can see the situation much more objectively and correctly assess how it should be handled.  Plus, our husbands love it when we come to them for advice, because it signifies that we actually respect their opinion.  Is it time to seek your husband’s counsel on a situation in your life?  Two are often better than one!