True confession: Often in the past, I found myself wanting to jump in and “fix things” for my husband. Sometimes, I did this because I feared his mood would grow ugly if I didn’t take steps to improve his circumstances. Sometimes, I did this because I feared that his ministry could stumble if he didn’t do things the “correct” way. Sometimes, I did this because I thought his relationship with our kids would suffer if I didn’t intervene. Sometimes, I did this because I feared…..
Hmmm. When it comes right down to it, fear is the common feeling behind all of the times I jumped in to act as my husband’s savior. Unfortunately, fear usually causes us to act unwisely. Proverbs 29:25 says “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.“
Here’s something to ponder. Every time you jump in to “fix” things for your husband, you actually prevent your man from turning to God for help. Every time you try to prevent your husband from feeling any discomfort or pain, you might be preventing him from changing unhealthy behavior and finally turning to God! Resist the urge to be your husband’s savior. There is only one perfect savior anyway. His name is Jesus Christ.
In a recent prayer time, God gently confronted me. He asked me this simple question. Are you going to be a slave to your to-do-list today, or are you going to focus on bringing me glory? Another way of putting this is: Are you working tirelessly to bring yourself glory as the “perfect wife’, “perfect mother”, perfect Christian, etc, or are you releasing your day to God and asking him to show you what to do and what NOT to do in order to bring HIM glory?
Oh man! Busted. To be honest, I tend to drive myself to always do more and do it better, because I want to look good in other people’s eyes. I become exhausted and stressed in the process. The good news is that God didn’t design us to be people-pleasers. Yes, we are to love people, but our focus shouldn’t be on doing whatever they want. Our focus also shouldn’t be trying to look good in people’s eyes. The Bible reminds us in Galatians 1:10 “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?”
I am confident that if you and I were both to release our days to God and ask Him to guide us, we would find much more peace! We would be free of performance-exhaustion. We would find freedom from approval exhaustion. Instead, we would be free to follow God’s promptings, which will lead to greater joy and peace than we’ve ever known. In fact, if you listen for God’s voice, he might even tell you to take a nap or relax while listening to praise music! God’s Word promises that those who seek to follow Him (instead of following their own agenda) will enter peace! (Isaiah 57:2 says, “For the righteous man is taken away from calamity; he enters into peace.” And Isaiah 26:3 reminds us, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”