stronger

Are you familiar with the term “woke” as used in our culture today? It gets tossed around a lot and a huge number of people seem to be pretty proud to declare that they are “woke”. Basically, the word (as it is being applied in today’s culture) means awakened to social injustice and unfairness and the lack of equity for all people.

Well, I’m probably going to offend the “woke” crowd by what I’m about to say. While the Lord is indeed a God of justice, and he does call his people to make sure justice is carried out for the oppressed, he does not tell his followers to fight for fairness and equity in their own relationships! Instead, he actually calls his followers to be more concerned for other people than for themselves! Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

What I’ve learned along my journey in marriage is that self-sacrifice and working to serve the other person is that secret sauce to a great marriage! And if you BOTH do that, wow! Your marriage will be amazing! However, if you focus on getting that other person to meet your needs, and wait for them to give equally back to you, you’re going to be a miserable, resentful, disappointed person.

Maybe it’s time to try God’s way of doing relationships. Try being anti-woke. Don’t wait for the other person to give to you and meet your desires. Give to them. Look for ways to bless them. It’s the secret sauce to a great marriage, and even if your marriage doesn’t improve right away, you’ll know that you’ve been a great representative of the Lord. After all, that’s how he treats us! He is definitely anti-woke in the way he interacts with us. He gives a whole lot more than he receives.

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I bet you are checking this out because you think I’m talking about your husband’s laziness…but I’m not. I’m actually talking about our own tendency to become lazy in terms of putting effort and intentionality into our marriages.

Laziness is kind of like lighting a really long fuse. You don’t really notice anything for the longest time….that is, until the explosion! Many a wife has been burned, ending up with a husband who seeks attention from other women or who even ends up divorcing her. We can’t afford to be sluggards in our marriages! The Bible has lots to say about sluggards. Proverbs 13:4 says “A sluggard’s appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.” This can be applied to your marriage! Only when you are diligent in investing in your marriage are you likely to have the kind of marriage you desire.

What can you do to strengthen your marriage? Do you need to get a babysitter and go on more dates with your husband? Do you need to find out his love language and start speaking that language more often? Would your marriage be strengthened if you looked for ways to encourage your husband every day and show him respect?

** or view this topic as a 2 minute VIDEO BELOW