Easy boost for emotional intimacy

I wish I had known about the blessings of a fire pit a long time ago!  I had no idea that a fire pit could pave the way to more intimate, deep conversations than we routinely have in marriage.  But I’ve discovered it’s true!  There’s something bonding and safe about sharing your deepest thoughts, feelings and dreams in the flickering light coming from your backyard fire pit.  Maybe it’s because it’s quiet and peaceful at night and, when sitting in front of the fire, we tend to talk in soft voices.  Proverbs 15:1 says “A soft answer turns away wrath…”  Well, maybe it’s that soft conversation in front of a fire that breaks down our defenses and helps us to open up.

We’ve built a fire pit in our backyard at our last 2 homes.  They cost less than $100.  We thought a fire pit would be fun for the grandchildren to toast marshmallows and roast hot dogs.  But it turned out that my husband and I enjoyed it just as much…for different reasons than the grandkids!    As the sun went down, we lit the fire, and then my husband asked what the topic of the night should be.  Sometimes, we talked about our dreams for ministry.  Some nights, we talked about our concerns for our children and we prayed for them.  Other nights, we talked about our dream vacation ideas.  Try building a fire pit.  You may be pleasantly surprised by the emotional intimacy you gain as a result!

5 verses to help you be bold!

If you are a follower of Jesus, I’m sure you are so very grateful for his presence in your life and for the sacrifice He made so that you can be guaranteed a forever life in paradise with God.  But don’t you want other people in your life to find the same rich relationship and promise for the future that you have discovered?  You probably do, but aren’t quite sure how to share the Gospel message with relatives, friends, co-workers and neighbors.  Maybe you shrink back due to fear of what others will think.  Perhaps you need help in becoming more confident and bold.

Allow me to share 5 Bible verses that can be somewhat of a guide as you consider sharing the Gospel message with others.

  1.  Ask God to show you who you are supposed to talk to about Jesus and invite to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior.  God may be assigning you that job, or perhaps God has appointed someone else to be the person.  So ask God!  Psalm 32:8  I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
  2.  Ask God to show you the right time to present the Gospel.  Ecclesiastes 3:1  There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—
  3. Ask God to give you confidence and boldness instead of fearing the person’s reaction!  Romans 1:16  For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes…
  4.  Study Bible verses that reveal the path to salvation, and also equip yourself with Bible verses that may address any objections or questions that person raises.  2 Timothy 4:2  Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.
  5. In the end, rely on the Holy Spirit to give you the exact words to say to that specific person.  Luke 21:14-15 Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict.

** or view this topic as a 2 minute VIDEO BELOW

How to talk about your husband

It’s actually a really awesome thing when you talk about your husband in public!  Well, it’s really awesome if what you’re sharing is complimentary!  In fact, it’s one of the kindest things you can do for your husband.  Men are wired to crave respect and affirmation.  That’s why God instructs wives in Ephesians 5:33 to respect their husbands.  I saw my husband begin glowing (in a masculine sort of way!) when I affirmed him in front of his friends or our family members.

However, there is a flip side to this business of speaking publicly about your man.  My husband always told me one of the very worst things a wife can do is to disclose some of her husband’s failures, character deficiencies or mistakes in front of other people.  He said when a wife shares her husband’s personal failings, he is absolutely devastated and emasculated.  Don’t emasculate your man! Don’t cross that boundary when speaking about him in front of others! If he begins feeling emasculated, he will likely subconsciously gravitate toward another woman who will build him up instead of tearing him down.

Easy way to create emotional intimacy

I wish I had known about the blessings of a fire pit a long time ago!  I had no idea that a fire pit could pave the way to more intimate, deep conversations than we routinely have in our marriage.  But I’ve discovered it’s true!  There’s something bonding and safe about sharing your deepest thoughts, feelings and dreams in the flickering light coming from your backyard fire pit.  Maybe it’s because it’s quiet and peaceful at night and, when sitting in front of the fire, we tend to talk in soft voices.  Proverbs 15:1 says “A soft answer turns away wrath…”  Well, maybe it’s that soft conversation in front of a fire that breaks down our defenses and helps us to open up.

We’ve built a fire pit in our backyard at our last 2 homes.  They cost less than $100.  We thought a fire pit would be fun for the grandchildren to toast marshmallows and roast hot dogs.  But it turned out that my husband and I enjoyed it just as much…for different reasons than the grandkids!    As the sun goes down, we light the fire, and then my husband asks what the topic of the night should be.  Sometimes, we talk about our dreams for ministry.  Some nights, we talk about our concerns for our children and we pray for them.  Other nights, we talk about our dream vacation ideas.  Try building or buying a fire pit.  You may be pleasantly surprised by the emotional intimacy you gain as a result!

P.S. Obviously, if there is a risk of wildfires in your area during dry summer months, you might want to use an inexpensive gas firepit as opposed to a wood-burning firepit that could toss embers and start a fire! 🙂