How Satan tries to kill marriages

November 18, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I’m outing him. I’m exposing one of Satan’s main strategies for tripping up wives and potentially destroying their marriages. I can speak from experience because, a couple decades ago, I got caught in this scheme. Ugh. Here it is. The enemy will subtly lure you into a “friendship” with a man other than your husband. It will start very innocently. It may evolve very slowly. But here’s what I know. Once you start sharing your feelings, your troubles, and your hopes with a man, you start emotionally bonding with that man. Once a man starts sharing his burdens and his feelings with you, you start to bond with that man. Now you’re in treacherous water, and it’s only a matter of time before you get sucked into an actual affair.

I know some of you don’t believe me, but trust me, this has happened to countless women, including wonderful Christian ladies. It happened to me at the end of my first marriage. I never would have believed it could happen to me! For me, it took over 10 years for Satan to build a strong enough emotional bond with the man for me to be ensnared, but apparently the devil is pretty patient. Don’t let this happen to you. Refuse to spend time alone with another man, even at a public location. Refuse to discuss your marriage or your husband with another man, unless it’s a pastor or counselor. God instructs us in 1 Peter 5:8 to “be self-controlled and alert because the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour“. Be smart. Be alert to this scheme from the pit of hell!

Guard marriage from 3 common pitfalls

October 22, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

As I’ve worked with hundreds of wives over 15 years of women’s ministry, I’ve noticed some common traps that end up destroying a marriage. We must be alert to the subtle scheme of the enemy! 1 Peter 5:8-9 (amplified translation) Be sober [well balanced and self-disciplined], be alert and cautious at all times. That enemy of yours, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion [fiercely hungry], seeking someone to devour. 9 But resist him, be firm in your faith [against his attack—rooted, established, immovable]…

So please allow me to help you be alert to 3 common pitfalls or schemes of the enemy:

Allowing yourself to emotionally connect with another man, whether on social media or workplace. This is SO dangerous. The moment you start confiding in another man or sharing your troubles or heartbreaks, you will start to emotionally bond with that man. So, resist the urge to share your marriage troubles with another man, unless he’s a trained counselor!
Believing your marriage should be like the ones in romantic comedies. Oh boy. Our culture has glorified romance and made it seem that your guy should be the most romantic, tender, loving, understanding, empathetic, compassionate listener when he comes home to you at the end of the day, while slaying dragons at the workplace and out in the world during the day! Impossible! Don’t fall for this scheme from the pit of hell. The devil wants you to believe you’ve been ripped off and should trade in your husband because he isn’t exactly like the guys portrayed in romantic comedies and romance novels. Your guy can’t be that perfect!!
Letting resentment go unaddressed. This is such a subtle and slow killer of marriages. When you stuff issues, rather than working all the way through them, resentment slowly poisons your hearts to your husband. Ephesians 4:26-27 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold“

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Recognizing Satan’s lies!

September 30, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Let’s not be ignorant. Satan is dead-set on destroying your marriage and killing your joy. Jesus explains in John 10:10 that the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. Furthermore, Jesus reveals in John 8:44 that one of Satan’s favorite schemes to destroy you entails lying to you.

He will try to plant lies in your mind such as this: You deserve a different husband. You are not loveable. You will never be happy with your husband. You better not challenge any sinful behavior by your husband because if you do, he will leave you and you won’t be able to take care of yourself. Your marriage is hopeless. You will never be able to get over what your husband did. Do any of these lies sound familiar?

Thankfully, Jesus reveals the way to stand against the enemy’s plans to destroy us and our marriages. When he left this earth, He sent His Holy Spirit to come be with us and to guide us into all truth! John 16:13 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.

So ask God to reveal lies of the enemy that you’ve been buying! When negative, critical, hopeless, or fearful thoughts enter my head, I try to remember to pause and ask myself, “Does this sound like something God would say, or is this a lie of the enemy?”

Wives: Beware of this thought

September 29, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Caution. Caution. In fact, I urge you to envision yellow caution tape (like you see around a dangerous construction zone) every time this thought comes into your mind. The thought is “I deserve a different husband”. That is a thought emanating straight from the pit of hell.

When Satan dangles that thought in front of your mind, he’s basically trying to entice you into believing that you have been ripped off and that you are entitled to trade in your man for a better model. I should know. I bought that lie from the enemy, hook, line, and sinker at the end of my first marriage. You know who else fell for this kind of thinking? Eve. She fell for Satan’s lie that God was ripping her off by withholding fruit from one of the trees and he got her to believe she was entitled to more than God had given her. That story didn’t end well either.

Now please don’t misunderstand me. If your husband is an unrepentant, serial cheater or if he has a pattern of abuse and is not seeking serious help, then God may very well release you from your marriage. However, MUCH of the time, the enemy tries to get us to focus on every shortcoming of our husband, every flaw, every way he does not meet our expectations for a perfect husband. Then Satan seals the deal by whispering to us that we deserve a different husband…a husband who would be so much better. That’s usually a complete delusion! I can almost guarantee you that if you were to dump your husband and get a new one, he would have “issues” as well! So don’t fall for Satan’s schemes and delusions. Remember what the Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 11:14…”Satan masquerades as an angel of light”.

So, instead of buying the lie that you need to dump your inferior man and get a better model, how about if you do these three things instead? 1) Look for the good qualities of your man and be thankful 2) Respectfully confront any sinful pattern of behavior on his part and establish boundaries if necessary 3) pray daily for Jesus to mold and shape your husband into a godly man of integrity.

Satan’s common scheme against wives

August 20, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Something I’ve learned over my many years of being a wife is that Satan is out to destroy marriages, especially Christian marriages. Therefore, you must be on guard. Just as 1 Peter 5:8-9 says, we must “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.“

Here is one of the most common schemes of the devil to take out Christian marriages: getting one or both spouses isolated from other believers. You must not be like an antelope that strays away from the rest of the herd out on the prairie. Apart from the herd, that antelope is easy picking for that hungry mountain lion lurking in the high grass. But this is exactly what many believers do. We allow ourselves to get overly busy, so we drop out of the women’s Bible study. Perhaps your husband spends too many hours at work or in pursuit of hobbies, and slowly drops away from the men’s fellowship at church. We drift away. We no longer hear the encouragement and admonishment of other believers to stay the course.

Hebrews 10:24-25 says “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing” Hebrews 3:13 says “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” You MUST fight to remain in close fellowship with other believers. I have seen too many marriages begin to crumble when one or both spouses drift away from regular weekly fellowship with believers of the same gender. Are you staying connected with godly women every week? Maybe it’s time to get back into a weekly Bible study meeting and/or the fellowship at Squadron of Sisters.

Changing your stinking thinking!

August 8, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

You’ve heard the expression “You are what you think”. Well it’s true, and unfortunately many women stay stuck in oppression, poverty, chaos, and loneliness because of the stinking thoughts the enemy has whispered to them repeatedly over the years. Often these women truly did suffer a wounding event in the past, but the enemy piles on by getting them to believe lies about their identity, their abilities, God’s ability, and their future.

These lies, that then become our “stinking thinking”, may sound something like this: “I’m unlovable”… “I can’t handle this”… “I’ll never get over this”… “I’m broken”… “I’m not able to”… “It’s hopeless”… “God doesn’t seem to care”… “I can never trust anyone”…

It’s time we start bossing around these thoughts! The minute you hear one of those thoughts in your head, remind yourself that the enemy of your soul WANTS you to embrace that stinking thinking so that he can keep you oppressed! Jesus WANTS you to have the opposite…a fulfilling life! John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Ladies, it’s time we take a stand and refuse to align our thoughts with the devil. The moment those negative, hopeless thoughts enter your mind, immediately coach your soul with the truth. Here are a couple of truths to get you started: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”-Philippians 4:13…”He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”-Psalm 40:2…..”If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”-Romans 8:31-32…”Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding: in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight”-Proverbs 3:5-6

Don’t cooperate with the devil!

July 11, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Your enemy has plans to blow-up your marriage. The Bible says in John 10:10 that Satan is out to “steal, kill, and destroy“, so make no mistake. The devil is working diligently to take down both you and your husband. He may relentlessly tempt your husband to view pornography, and your husband may cave into the temptation. Your heart will definitely be bruised if your husband falls into that trap. But Satan wants more than that. The enemy will relentlessly tempt you to treat your husband with scorn and disgust so that your marriage implodes.

This is where you have a choice. You can cooperate with the devil and give in to his temptations. You can allow him to have the victory. You can align yourself with his evil plans and watch your marriage get flushed down the toilet. Or you can refuse to cooperate with the devil. Even when your husband does something that seriously disappoints you, you can tell your husband that you are still “for him”…that you believe he has a good heart…that you are not giving up on him.

I remember the time several years ago that a friend of mine found out that her husband had slipped up and viewed porn after over a year of being free from pornography. Of course, she was devastated, but she chose wisely in that moment. She chose to speak words of life to her husband. I’d love to share the text she sent me shortly after his confession: “So thankful he was honest. Still hurts. But the enemy will not win! My marriage is worth fighting for”. What a fantastic attitude! She refused to cooperate with the devil. How about you?

3 big lies Satan uses to oppress

July 1, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Over my many years of ministering to women, I’ve come to realize that the devil effectively whispers 3 huge lies to women in an attempt to depress them and oppress them. We should not be surprised that Satan whispers lies to us. He’s been doing it since the first man and woman were planted by God in the garden of Eden! He lied to them then and he’s still lying today. In fact, Jesus describes the devil this way in John 8:44 He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

As I was thinking about some of the common lies that Satan whispers to women, God gave me a vision of women recognizing those lies, and then dragging them off to the burn pile and setting them on fire! Yes!! The first thing we must do is recognize the lie, but then we totally destroy it (set it on fire) by replacing the lie with the truth from God’s Word. So, here are the 3 common lies and the corresponding truths from the Bible!

Lie #1: God is disappointed in you because of the things you’ve done in the past so He doesn’t forgive you, and you can’t forgive yourself either. Truth: Romans 8:1-2 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. Also,Psalm 103:12-13 He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.

Lie #2: You can’t really trust God to watch over you and take care of you so you better work hard to control every aspect of your life and you’ll probably always be plagued by anxiety and fear. Truth: Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Also, Matthew 10:29-31 What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

Lie #3: You’re entitled to resent that person who hurt you, and you should never forgive them. Truth: Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Also, Hebrews 12:15 Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.

Don’t fall for these common lies!

June 9, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I am on the war path…against the devil! I will not stand idly by while he tries to destroy the marriages of beautiful Christian wives who fall for his diabolical schemes. I should know all about his schemes because I fell into them in my first marriage. So heed my warning. I know from first-hand experience that Satan wants to lure your thinking down the wrong path.

You’ve probably heard the verse in John 10:10 where Jesus reveals Satan’s mission to “steal, kill and destroy”. Well, a primary tool of Satan is big, fat, rotten lies! Jesus reveals this in John 8:44 where, referring to the devil, he says, “When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

Be on high alert for the devil to whisper lies that might sound something like this: “Your husband is a total jerk”, “Your marriage is hopeless”, “You deserve a different husband”, “You should file for divorce”, “Your kids would be better off if you divorce”, “You don’t need to listen to advice from your church friends who think you should work on your marriage.”, etc. These are big, fat, rotten lies from the pit of hell. Don’t be impulsive. Don’t rush into a divorce. Give God time to work on your husband…and on you!