Must I have a “gentle & quiet spirit”?

1 Peter 3:4 instructs wives to have a gentle, quiet spirit.  Hmmm.  Why do so many of us rebel against that idea?  Well, for me, I think it boils down to 2 things.

First, I fear that being quiet and gentle means I’m going to be controlled by my husband or become a weak doormat kind of wife!  Personally, I fear being controlled.  It’s because I was hurt by people who controlled me when I was young.  So, I rebel at anything that even smells like control!  But here’s what both you and I need to know.  Just because we allow our husbands to lead, does not mean that we are weak and have no voice.  It is something we get to CHOOSE to do to bring honor to God and honor to our husbands.  Also, I am not a doormat because I DO get to speak up respectfully and establish boundaries if my husband is sinning against me. (Matthew 18:15-17)

Second, I fear that if I strive for a gentle, quiet spirit that I’m going to have to change my personality!  But that’s just not true!  You can still be playful, joyful, and flirty with your husband.  You just don’t yell at him, argue with him about everything, boss him around, and demand your own way all the time.  🙂

Don’t feel guilty about this

I’m learning lately that I can’t give away much of anything to anyone else, including my husband, my children or my grandchildren, if I’m not filled up myself!  So the question is: how do we get filled up?  Well, certainly part of the answer is spending time reading God’s Word and asking Him to help us truly know His love for us. You might want to meditate on Ephesians 3:17-19 which says, “I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” 

However, I believe we also need to take time to fill up our senses with all that God has created for us to enjoy!  I’ve noticed that when I literally take a few minutes to sit in the sun and gaze at the beauty of God’s creation, I get filled up.  I’ve noticed that when I snuggle my granddaughter in my arms and read her a favorite story, I get filled up.  I’ve noticed that when I sit in front of a crackling fire with a cup of tea, I get filled up, in a good way.    

We all need to take time to enjoy what God has created.  It’s not a guilty pleasure if it’s done in moderation, and as long as it’s not a sinful action according to the Bible.  These things fill us up, and when we are filled up, we actually have energy and joy that we can give away to others.  So, what fills you up?  What brings you joy and a sigh of contentment?