priorities

Priorities for your relationships

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I’ve learned some humongous lessons in life, and I would love to share one of the biggest lessons with you.  I’ve discovered that it’s super important to keep 2 relationships as top priorities.

First, and most importantly, we MUST keep our relationship with the Lord as our primary relationship.  That relationship must be the one where we seek to find lasting love, security, and fulfillment.  Why is this so important?  Well, certainly Jesus tells us in Matthew 22 that the most important command is to love the Lord your God.  But beyond that, I’ve learned that the Lord is truly the only one you can ALWAYS depend on to be there.  He is the ONLY one who will never leave you.  He is the ONLY one who never changes.  He is the ONLY one you can truly count on. 

I learned that gigantic lesson when my beloved husband Raul suddenly passed away in 2021.  If I had “placed all my eggs in the basket” of my husband Raul, I would have been completely flattened and destroyed when he unexpectedly died.  Even though his death was extremely painful (and still is), I was able to carry on because Raul was not my primary relationship.  My relationship with God was my main source of love, joy, purpose and security.  If you’re married, make sure you don’t idolize your husband or your marriage.  Seek God each and every day, and make sure He is your top relationship!   As Psalm 16:5 says, “Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure”.

Additionally, I’ve learned that it’s dangerous to put a higher priority on your children than your husband.  Of course, your children need you, and of course, they are dearly loved, but if you focus almost exclusively on your kids and rarely focus time, energy and love on your husband, your marriage will probably enter a slow death spiral.  Then, the kids that you so dearly love will be deeply scared by a divorce. Don’t let that happen to you or your children.  Put a high priority on investing in your marriage, right AFTER your relationship with God.

** or view this topic as a 3 minute VIDEO BELOW

Priorities for the Christian woman

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Lots of Christian women wonder what their priorities should be. Should husband come before kids? Should financial security come before family time? Should house-keeping come before leisure time? Well, I’m not going to answer those specific questions because I’ve learned they are the wrong questions! When it comes to priorities, God is urging all of us to put his kingdom purposes and plans above ALL else! Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
It’s such a simple and concise instruction from the Lord, but make no mistake, it’s hard to carry out! Our fleshly desires cry out for us to focus on personal happiness, and financial security, and “success” for our children, and luxurious vacations, and a new wardrobe. Our culture, through both advertisements and social media, constantly reminds us that we should have it all. We deserve it all.
However, God is calling us to place Him above everything and everyone else. He is desperate for people who are desperate for Him. He’s calling us to repentance. He’s calling us to pray continually. He’s calling us to loosen our grip on our money and possessions and to give to the poor. He’s calling us to honor and obey Him as our first priority. We say we want revival, but are we earnestly seeking the Lord above all else? We get some great clues about what leads to revival when we look at what the early followers of Jesus did immediately after he ascended to heaven following his resurrection. Read Acts 2:38-47 to get inspired!
By the way, you’ll likely find that as you seek the Lord above all else, you will become a more peaceful wife and mom!

Priorities for moms and wives

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I’m rather slow to learn some lessons in life and as a wife.  One of the things I wish I had realized earlier is that it is entirely too easy for a mom to get so focused on nurturing her children that she subconsciously pushes her husband aside.  In fact, in my first marriage, I remember thinking to myself…”My husband is an adult so he can take care of himself.  It’s my kids who really need all my attention.”  Not good thinking!

Of course, moms need to take care of their children’s needs, and we do need to spend time nurturing and disciplining them.  However, our children can become idols in our life. When our world revolves around our kids’ successes and failures…and on their activities and their schedule…well, then we’ve made our children into idols.  When anyone or anything besides God becomes our focus in life, then it has become our idol and our god.  One of the big 10 commandments addresses this!  Exodus 20:3 “You shall have no other gods before me.”

One of the casualties of this idolizing of our kids is our husbands.  The bizarre thing is that the very children we were determined to protect end up severely wounded as mom and dad become distant, begin to argue, and often end up divorcing each other.  Don’t let this happen to you.  Be intentional about spending quality time with both your husband and your children.  Even more important than that, spend quality time with God.  He must truly be your number one focus in life!