2 problems for perfectionists!

There have been so many times that I have lost my cool over a trivial mistake I’ve made!  I beat myself up and feel disgusted with myself. Perhaps you’ve done the same thing a time or two.  What makes the situation even worse is then we become a grump around our husband and children. Because we have worked ourselves into a foul mood, it infects them as well. That’s the first problem caused by perfectionism.  We become grumpy, irritable people, and no one wants to be around that!! Perhaps we need to remind ourselves that we need to be able to laugh at some of our mistakes.

Here’s the second problem linked with perfectionism.  Pride.  Often, perfectionists are driven by a desire to be admired; to impress others so they will be thought of highly.   A perfectionist can’t laugh at their silly mistakes.  A perfectionist takes herself too seriously.  A perfectionist must drive herself to achieve, and achieve perfectly, because a perfectionist has a secret motivation to be admired by others.  However, this relentless need to impress others is really rooted in pride, and God detests the proud!

These days, I’m trying to let go of my pride and admit I’m a human being who isn’t perfect 100% of the time!  You know what I’ve found?  Everyone, including my family members, seems to like me better.   Humility is such an attractive quality.  Psalm 18:27 says “You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.”  Let’s work on being humble this week.  When we mess up, and we will, let’s LOL.  Everyone around you will appreciate this new attitude!

Do you have a controlling husband?

Many women struggle with following the leadership of their husbands because their men seem to be controlling, manipulative, or inconsiderate. When is it proper to submit to such “leadership” and when is it appropriate to respectfully draw a boundary?

Well, according to the Bible, a godly husband will love his wife in a selfless way (Ephesians 5:25) and will treat his wife with consideration and respect (1 Peter 3:7). These verses give us a pretty clear picture of what a godly husband looks like. As a result, it seems pretty clear that a controlling husband, one who bullies or intimidates his wife and children, is NOT behaving in the way that God intended.

I believe a wife can respectfully confront a husband who is trying to control, intimidate, bully, or manipulate her. She may need to lovingly, but firmly, establish boundaries on what she will tolerate. This might mean simply walking away when he begins to start bullying or controlling. If he continues to follow you, it could mean even leaving the home for awhile. I would add that it would be very wise to consult with other godly women, a pastor, or a counselor before moving forward in establishing boundaries. It’s always best to make sure that you are evaluating the situation clearly.