Bouncing back from hardship or loss

Almost every wife will eventually encounter a tough time in her marriage.  We’re all going to experience heartbreak and challenges in our lives in general.  The question is this.  Why are some people able to bounce back from adversity relatively quickly, and why do others seem to remain stuck?

At the risk of you hating me 🙂 …I’ll be honest and let you know that I tend to be very resilient.  After an initial period of shock and grief, I’m usually able to quickly pick myself up, dust myself off and move forward.  After pondering this ability with God, allow me to share a 3-word insight that might help you become more resilient too.

I trust God.  Period. Three little words that mean everything!  I have decided to believe what the Bible says….that God is in control and that His ways are perfect.  I have decided to believe the Bible truth that God can and will bring something good out of my hardship.  This is what we learn at the end of Joseph’s painful story in Genesis, where Joseph proclaims in Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good...”   I also take heart from Romans 8:28, where God says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

I can bounce back because I trust God and because He says He will never leave me nor forsake me.  Do you truly trust God?  It’s a decision you get to make, and it makes all the difference.

Don’t let your past strangle you

I’ve come to realize that many women (and men) in my life are being held hostage by something in their past.  In fact, something that occurred in their past seems to be strangling the life out of them.  But this is not God’s design for me or you!  In John 10:10, Jesus said “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  So what’s the problem?  Allow me to spell out 3 common problems related to a person’s “past” that have the potential to strangle the life out of God’s people.

  1.  A person takes on a negative identity because of the way she was mistreated in the past, and continues to carry that attitude into her present day.  Perhaps her dad abandoned the family and she started to believe the lie that she was unloveable.  Maybe her boyfriend was verbally abusive and told her she was trash, and she continues to believe that lie years later.  In both cases, that person often sinks into depression or self-medicates in harmful ways, or enters into every new relationship with the expectation she will be treated as unloveable or like trash.  Obviously, such believes will strangle the life out of her.  If this is you, it’s time to ask God and godly people in your life to speak truth to you about who you really are!
  2. A person carries so much shame about their past sin, that they disqualify themselves from any future blessings or joy.  This is also a case of wrong beliefs.  If you have repented of your sin, then God has set you free to live an abundant life!  Unfortunately, we often feel so undeserving of his forgiveness that we actually reject his kindness and the abundant life Jesus died to provide!  But that’s the definition of grace…”undeserved kindness”.  That’s why God is so amazing!  Ephesians 1:7 says, “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace”.  Is it time to accept and embrace God’s extravagant forgiveness and enjoy the kindness he longs to show you?
  3. Sometimes, we miss out on the abundant life God intends for us because we stubbornly cling to an old season in our life, refusing to let it go.  This sometimes happens after a divorce or death of a spouse.  In fact, I took a lot of grief from many believers when I followed God’s promptings to start dating my new husband Mark about 6 months after my beloved husband Raul passed away.  But I knew that nothing productive would happen if I allowed myself to wallow in what I had lost.  God brought this beautiful scripture to mind.  Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  19 See, I am doing a new thing!      Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”  Is it time for you to let go of a season of your life that has ended so that God can set you on an exciting new adventure?