more

Learning to wait…patiently!

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Are you in a waiting phase?  Maybe you’re waiting for God to answer your prayer regarding your husband.  Maybe you’re waiting for your rebellious child, stubborn child to finally become mature.  Maybe you’re waiting for your heart to heal after being betrayed by your husband.  Whatever the thing you’re waiting for, I think we can all agree that waiting is hard!  It’s hard because we have to be patient, and let’s be honest; most of us aren’t very good with the whole patience virtue.  These two realizations have helped me learn to be a bit more patient when I have to wait. 

1)  God’s timing is often very different than what I think it should be, yet He is always faithful to show up.  Psalm 40:1-2  “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth…” 

2)  Some of the great women of the Bible had to wait and wait and wait before finally experiencing a HUGE answer to their prayers.  Sarah, Rebekah, Hannah, Rachel, and more all had to wait ridiculously long periods of time before God finally allowed them to give birth.  But when their prayers were finally answered, oh my!  They gave birth to some of the giants of the Bible:  Isaac, Jacob, Samuel, Joseph.  In other words, what they experienced in the end was well worth the wait. 🙂

Signs you are truly a loving wife!

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I don’t know about you, but I tend to think I’m a pretty amazing wife!  I mean I try to be respectful.  I try to keep the house clean and tidy.  I cook meals and bake sugary things I think my husband would like. I try to remember to encourage my husband from time to time. I’m faithful.  So, I’m doing great, right? 

Well, I was recently convicted when I happened to be reading a familiar passage of the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13.  In that passage, God explains what true love looks like.  As I read the passage more slowly than usual, I realized that I have quite a bit of room for growth when it comes to loving my husband well!  Maybe you have room for growth too.

I urge you to read the following description of love very slowly.  Linger over each facet of love that God is calling us to display.  Honestly ask the Holy Spirit to show you how you’re doing. Do you regularly display the signs of true love to your husband?  I bet God will highlight some areas where you could do better.  God is not mad at you.  We are all a work in progress, but let’s commit to making progress!! 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)  Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Clarify your expectations in marriage!

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Have you and your husband been butting heads lately?  Can you sense resentment against him growing in your heart?  Does he seem frustrated with you?  Well, the good news is that you’re not alone.  This is pretty common in marriage.  The bad news is that if you don’t do something about this, it will likely ruin your marriage!

As my late husband Raul and I mentored couples over man years, we found a little tool to be really helpful.  We asked the husband and wife to sit down over a series of “dates” and discuss each other’s expectations in all sorts of areas; everything from the balance of responsibilities for chores to what Christmas celebrations should be like.   We all hold subconscious expectations in these areas, but we rarely intentionally reveal those expectations to our spouse.  Then we get frustrated and annoyed that they don’t meet our undisclosed expectations!

How about if you bless your spouse by initiating a series of dates to honestly discuss expectations.  Proverbs 24:26 says “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips”.   By each of you being honest and open about your desires and hopes, you will grow more intimate and truly begin to understand each other.  Visit the “free resources” tab on our website (www.squadronofsisters.com) to print out a list of topics for your husband and you to discuss.

Does your marriage need this medicine?

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

One of the things that will bond you together with your husband is….laughter!   When you share a common funny experience, it is very bonding.  I still vividly remember an incident many years ago when my late husband Raul and I attended a Seattle Seahawks football game.  I remember clearly and think back on this incident fondly because we bonded through belly laughter!  You see, there was a very vocal young man behind us who was actually quite funny.  He wasn’t crude, just extremely loud, and some of the things he yelled tickled our funny bones!  My husband and I would look at each other for hours afterward and burst out laughing about one of this guy’s funny comments.  When I think of periods in my marriage where my husband and I laughed a lot, those memories bring very warm feelings.  Those shared moments of laughter connected me with my husband.  Shared laughter is very bonding.

Do you play and laugh and flirt with your husband?  Do you try to find humor in daily life?  Do you take yourself seriously all the time or can you laugh at your own little mistakes?  Proverbs 17:22 says “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”   If your marriage feels kind of dried up, perhaps it needs an infusion of laughter.  Maybe it’s time to start flirting with your husband like you used to.  When is the last time you pinched his tush?  Maybe you need to watch some funny TV shows together.  My husband and I laughed while watching “The West Wing” on Netflix.  Neither one of us had ever watched this show when it first came out. It’s an excellent political drama, but the characters are sometimes so funny!  We also watched old episodes of Frasier and Last Man Standing, and we laughed out loud together often.  Aaaah.  Shared laughter. It’s good medicine for your marriage!