Here’s something to ponder. The Bible instructs wives in Ephesians 5:33 to respect their husbands. But what does that really mean? Well, when I looked up the original Greek word for respect, it means “to be in awe of” or “to revere”. Oh my! I love my husband, but I confess I don’t usually treat him as if I “revere” him!
I wonder how my marriage would be impacted if I really sought to revere my husband? Hmmm. Well, first we need to better understand the word “revere”. Webster’s dictionary says revere means to treat with deferential honor or to regard as worthy of great honor. Ok, I’m starting to get the picture.
Here’s how I’m going to try to press into this Bible command this week. I am going to strive to treat my husband as if everything he says is really worthy of my complete attention. Yes, I’m actually going to pay attention when he speaks and treat his thoughts and feelings and ideas as very important. That’s how a person should respond if they think someone is worthy of great honor. Are you doing this with your husband? Are you even pivoting from what you’re doing to greet him when he comes home at the end of the day?!
I wonder how your marriage and my marriage would be impacted if we started showing respect to our husbands, whether we FEEL like it or not. I have a sneaking suspicion that our men would stand a little taller, feel more confident, and be more courageous in seeking to honor God!
1 Peter 3:4 instructs wives to have a gentle, quiet spirit. Hmmm. Why do so many of us rebel against that idea? Well, for me, I think it boils down to 2 things.
First, I fear that being quiet and gentle means I’m going to be controlled by my husband or become a weak doormat kind of wife! Personally, I fear being controlled. It’s because I was hurt by people who controlled me when I was young. So, I rebel at anything that even smells like control! But here’s what both you and I need to know. Just because we allow our husbands to lead, does not mean that we are weak and have no voice. It is something we get to CHOOSE to do to bring honor to God and honor to our husbands. Also, I am not a doormat because I DO get to speak up respectfully and establish boundaries if my husband is sinning against me. (Matthew 18:15-17)
Second, I fear that if I strive for a gentle, quiet spirit that I’m going to have to change my personality! But that’s just not true! You can still be playful, joyful, and flirty with your husband. You just don’t yell at him, argue with him about everything, boss him around, and demand your own way all the time. 🙂
I seem to bump into quite a few women who seem to either struggle with discouragement and mild depression or simply feel unfulfilled. When it comes to both these conditions, there aren’t necessarily simple answers, but I do believe taking one particular step could bring significant help. That step is to get outside yourself and begin serving those less fortunate! Yes, really.
This is God’s instruction to us all. In fact, He says in Isaiah 58 that the kind of “fasting” that he desires is not to look all religious by denying yourself food or pleasure. Instead he desires us to “loose the chains of injustice…to share your food with the hungry…to provide the poor wanderer with shelter. He says “then your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear” (Isaiah 58:8)
Is it time to stop focusing on what’s wrong with your circumstances and to look for opportunities to serve those in need all around you? I can almost guarantee that you WILL become more fulfilled when you begin helping others. Try it!