leader

Is your husband spiritually-intimidated?

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Most women love words.  We love to talk.  We love to communicate.  Thus, for most women, praying to God comes fairly easily.  After all, prayer is communication. 

On the other hand, most men don’t enjoy talking as much as women, and many men find it challenging to express their deepest thoughts and feelings.  As a result, when a husband hears his wife praying an articulate, expressive, lengthy prayer…he can end up feeling intimidated.  The wife doesn’t mean to intimidate her husband spiritually, but she ends up doing just that!

If this could be the case for your man, seriously consider shortening up your prayers and using simple words.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m NOT saying your husband is stupid.  I’m simply saying that women need to be careful that we’re not “showing off” our vocabulary as we pray!  This reminds me of something Jesus said in Luke 20:47.  He had harsh words for people who “for show make lengthy prayers”.  So, let’s be super humble and pray concise, simple, heart-felt prayers.  You may find that your man is more eager to pray with you in the future.

This will make him feel respected

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

If you’ve spent plenty of time reading the New Testament (or if you’ve read many of my devotionals), you probably already know that the Bible has a very clear instruction to wives about respect. God’s instruction is very concise and to the point in Ephesians 5:33. God simply says, “the wife must respect her husband”.
However, two concerns often arise when a wife thinks about this instruction. First, many wives shrug off this command because they don’t feel respect for their husband. But the Bible verse says nothing about waiting to “feel” respect. It simply tells wives to carry out the action verb of respect! In other words, a wife can choose to act respectfully toward her husband, and she can do this even if she’s establishing a boundary on sinful behavior.
The second concern that arises from this instruction is how to show respect to your husband. We aren’t men, so we don’t know what comes across as respectful versus disrespectful. I’ve learned that many things communicate respect to a man, but let me share just one easy thing you can do. Ask your husband’s advice on something and then actually follow his advice! It’s so simple, yet so powerful!
I did this the other day. I was trying to craft a text to a relative regarding something rather sensitive and I wanted to be diplomatic. Then I remembered to ask my husband for advice, and he actually provided a good insight! In addition to that, I know he felt respected. When you ask for your husband’s advice, you’re basically communicating that you think he has a brain and has something valuable to offer. That makes him feel esteemed and respected. Try it.

** or view this topic as a 2 minute VIDEO BELOW

Help husband be the spiritual leader

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Many women lament the fact that their husbands won’t pray with them and their husbands aren’t really the spiritual leader….but, here’s something I’ve observed over the years that may shed some light on your predicament.  If you want your husband to become the spiritual leader of your family, you have to stop being the leader yourself!  Sometimes women, including myself, can be so eager to bring spiritual disciplines into our family life that we leave no gap for the husband to fill.  Perhaps this is why God repeatedly instructs wives to be submissive!  Titus 2:5 tells women to be “self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands”. 

In other words, instead of you jumping in and praying for the kids when they get tucked into bed at night, you could ask your husband for his help with that.  If you would like the Bible to be read aloud after dinner, tell your husband you love the sound of his voice when he reads and ask him if he would read the Bible.  After he has read the Bible passage, ask him what he thinks God is saying…and then listen attentively to his answer.  When you’re not feeling well, you could tell him it would mean the world to you if he were to just lay a hand on your shoulder and say a simple prayer.  Even a one-sentence prayer is fine.  And when he does any of these things, be encouraging and thankful!  Build him up.

When a woman takes over any area of leadership, many men will simply back off.  So, if you want your husband to become the spiritual leader of your home, you need to allow there to be a bit of a void in that area. Then ask him for his help.  🙂

Could you be intimidating husband?

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Most women love words.  We love to talk.  We love to communicate.  Thus, for most women, praying to God comes fairly easily.  After all, prayer is communication. 

On the other hand, most men don’t enjoy talking as much as women, and many men find it challenging to express their deepest thoughts and feelings.  As a result, when a husband hears his wife praying an articulate, expressive, lengthy prayer…he can end up feeling intimidated.  The wife doesn’t mean to intimidate her husband spiritually, but she ends up doing just that!

If this could be the case for your man, seriously consider shortening up your prayers and using simple words.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m NOT saying your husband is stupid.  I’m simply saying that women need to be careful that we’re not “showing off” our vocabulary as we pray!  This reminds me of something Jesus said in Luke 20:47.  He had harsh words for people who “for show make lengthy prayers”.  So, let’s be super humble and pray concise, simple, heart-felt prayers.  You may find that your man is more eager to pray with you in the future.