This helps if your heart is broken

I first wrote this devotional several years ago, but I know it will help one of you today.  Here’s what I wrote:

As I’m writing this devotional on November 16, 2021, it has officially been one week since my beloved husband Raul passed away unexpectedly from covid.  My world is turned upside down.  Everything changed in an instant.  The grief was and is intense.  It comes in waves.  There is a gaping hole where we used to partner together in daily life and in ministry.  The love of my life is gone, and although I rejoice that he is with Jesus, I can’t help but feel like this is all so unfair.

Perhaps you are going through something equally as devastating; different, but still devastating. You may have a prodigal teen who is getting into trouble with drugs. You may have just received a cancer diagnosis that has rocked your world.   You and I will definitely need to grieve the losses in our lives.  Sometimes we mourn the actual loss of a loved one, and other times, we need to grieve the loss of what we thought our life or our health or our family would be like. 

This morning, when I was trying to worship God through my pain, he gently gave me a different perspective that helped me quite a bit, so I would like to share it with you in the hope that it will somehow help you even a tiny bit as well.   As I was grieving and asking him the “why did you allow this to happen” question, he whispered to me “But I gave you a gift that you didn’t deserve.  I gave you 16 wonderful years with Raul.”  Mind-blown.  Perspective shifted.  I suddenly realized that I’m a sinner who has made mistakes in my life, and yet God, in his extravagant kindness, chose to bless me with a gift I didn’t deserve…for 16 years.  It made me thankful.  Instead of sinking into depression and bitterness, I realized that God blessed me beyond measure with 16 great years. 

God’s kindness to me reminded me to stop fixating on my pain and to start thinking about what I should be truly thankful for.  Then this verse came to mind.  1 Thessalonians 5:18 “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”   Even though you are going through something painful, can you take a moment to remember ways that God has blessed you?  He IS a loving God.  He blesses us more than we deserve.

Learning to truly love God

Many Christians are familiar with the verses in Matthew 22:37-38 where Jesus is asked about the greatest commandment.   Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. 

Well, I’ve been asked lately about how to develop this actual love for God.  You see, it’s very difficult to truly love someone you’ve never experienced.  You and I must experience the Lord’s power and love for ourselves in order to truly fall in love with Him.  Otherwise, we have head knowledge from the Bible, but no heart knowledge!

Looking back at my own journey with Christ, I realized that I’ve grown to truly love Him as I earnestly sought His help through prayer and then saw Him answer those prayers in loving and powerful ways. I experienced God!

 So, I urge you to begin seeking the Lord with your whole heart.  Come to Him with your deepest needs, but make sure you’ve done your best to obey Him first.  After all, God says in James 5:16 that the “prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective”.  So, in other words, God powerfully responds to the person who truly seeks to obey His commands and follow His promptings.  After you’ve done all you can do to obey the Lord, pray earnestly for His help.  When He shows up, take notice!  God just connected with you and allowed you to experience His love, power and help!  Now, you have heart knowledge of the Lord!  Now you see how amazing God truly is and you start to really fall in love with Him!

Dealing with messed up people!

Aren’t “messed up” people annoying?  I’m sure you have a few in your life, perhaps your husband, an in-law, a coworker or even someone at church.  We shake our heads at these people, wondering why they can’t seem to get their act together.  We are disgusted by their sinful choices or behavior.  Sound familiar?

Unfortunately, as Christians, we can easily fall into this pattern of thinking.  We start to become self-righteous and judgmental.  We notice everyone else’s flaws and sin, but feel pretty good about ourselves.  But this is not how Jesus acted at all while he walked on this earth.  In fact, he was drawn to messed-up people!

Luke 5:29-32 Then Levi held a great banquet for Jesus at his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were eating with them. 30 But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?”  31 Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

Perhaps it’s time for you and me to stop judging others and looking down our noses at sinners, especially people we encounter at church.  In fact, if anyone we know (husband, in-law, coworker, neighbor) is actually attending church, we should be thrilled, not disgusted by their sin.  The fact that anyone walks into a church or Bible study is evidence that the Holy Spirit is working in the life of that person.  So instead of judging that person for failing to be perfect yet, perhaps we should encourage them and pray for them and give the Holy Spirit time to work.  That is what Jesus did.  Maybe we should do that too.

Try this amazing spiritual discipline!

The spiritual discipline that has most transformed my life; the one that has brought me such brilliant guidance; the one that has comforted me during grief; the one that has given me great hope for the future: the one that has slowly but surely matured me; the one that has made me feel cherished….is this.  I have been transformed by the simple spiritual discipline of quieting myself and asking God to communicate with me. 

Many of us pray. We call out to God when we’re in a desperate situation. We tell Him what to do.  We talk and talk at God, but do we ever stop talking and realize that communication is a 2-way street?!  Yes, God wants us to bring our concerns to Him in prayer, but more than that, He wants to talk to us!  He has many things to reveal to us.  He wants to reveal His character and His love.  He wants to guide us and prompt us to become more spiritually mature.  He wants to instruct us on how we can partner with Him to expand His kingdom.  But we’ll never receive any of those things if we end up doing all the talking and none of the listening!

God created us to be in relationship with Him and He longs to communicate with us.  Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.

I have found 2 ways to best hear God communicating to me.  One is pausing before and after I read a section of the Bibe and asking God “what are you trying to tell me?”  2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.

There is a second way that I have begun hearing from God, and it has become so very sweet to me.  I have begun the practice of taking just 1 minute each morning to be completely still.  I close my eyes and envision being with God, and then I ask Jesus to draw close and tell me what He wants me to know that day.  Sometimes I sense Jesus giving me a vision.  Sometimes I sense Him speaking a few instrumental words to my heart.  Jesus is always speaking to His followers if we will simply listen! As Jesus told his followers in John 10:27 “My sheep hear my voice”.

Bible help for anxiety attacks

So many of us struggle with fear and anxiety, and sometimes that struggle escalates to a full-blown anxiety attack.  We know that God does not intend for us to live in debilitating fear, but how do we break free?

I’ve personally found much relief by applying these 6 Bible verses:

  1. 2 Corinthians 10:5 “we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ”.  This means when fear-based, hopeless, defeatist thoughts enter my mind, I need to examine them and ask whether this is something God would say!
  2. 1 Peter 5:8-9  “Be sober-minded and alert. The devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.”  This means when I notice my thoughts are becoming hopeless or fearful, I need to recognize the devil is whispering those thoughts to me!  I must take a stand and refuse to align my thoughts with the devil!  Sometimes I even hold out my hand and shout “NO”.
  3. Isaiah 41:10  “do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  This means I remind myself that I am not walking through my challenges and worries alone.  Jesus is right there beside me all the time and all the way.
  4. Romans 8:28  “And we know that God works all things together for good for those who love him”  This means that I remind myself that even if my worst fear comes to pass, God can still bring something good out of that situation.  That brings me comfort.
  5. Psalm 139:16  “all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”  This means that when fear-based thoughts enter my mind, I choose to remind myself that God already knows my future and my kid’s future.  Nothing that happens to me or my kids will take God by surprise!  He knows the future.  He’s already there.
  6. James 4:8   “Draw near to God and he will draw near to you”  This means I choose to pivot from the fear and turn toward God in a very deliberate way.  When I do that, He comforts me!  “Drawing near to God” could mean everything from turning on a worship song, to reading the Bible, to calling a faith-filled friend, to hugging my actual Bible as I lay down to go to sleep at night.

God’s help for your marriage

If you’ve hit a rough patch in your marriage, and if you’re a believer, you’re likely dying to know what God wants you to do in this marriage challenge.  You desperately need his guidance and counsel!  The good news is that He loves it when his children seek his guidance.  He loves his people to inquire of him!

The question is how.  How do you receive his guidance for the issue in your marriage.  Well, the first and most obvious answer is to study God’s Word.  He has placed so many super helpful instructions on relationships in the Bible.  2 Timothy 3:16  All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.

Secondly, it’s almost always helpful to consult a godly mentor or counselor or pastor.  Sometimes we need someone who can look at our marriage situation more objectively than we can, as well as someone who will remind us of God’s instructions for relationships.  Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

But thirdly, and often most importantly, we should seek guidance from the Holy Spirit because God is the only one who actually knows the future.  He’s the only one who knows if your husband is going to change.  He’s the only one who knows exactly what to do and when.  John 16:13  When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.

So ask God specific questions about specific issues in your marriage.  Ask what He wants you to do and then strain to sense the nudges from the Holy Spirit.  You probably won’t hear God speak out loud, but Jesus does say his sheep will hear his voice.  John 10:27  My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.  So pray, and then be quiet and listen for those nudges from the Holy Spirit.  Jesus wants to guide you!

Desperation is actually good!

I know this might seem counterintuitive, but I’ve learned that finding myself in a state of desperation can actually turn out to be a good thing!  As I think back on all the deeply challenging, heart-breaking moments in my life, I can see a common thread.  When I chose to turn to mind-numbing pacifiers in those desperate times (such as food, shopping, reading endless novels, etc) the pain didn’t stop and I continued to sink into hopelessness, anxiety and depression.  But when I chose to cry out to God and desperately sought a touch from Him, I encountered God’s comfort and love in a profound way!

Interestingly, I suspect I would have never encountered God in such a deep and meaningful way if I had not found myself in desperate need of Him.  In other words, it’s usually in the bleak and heart-breaking moments of life that we will actually experience God at a richer level because, only in those moments of desperation, do we tend to cry out to Him!  God is waiting for us to reach for Him, but often we forget to do so when life is going fairly well. 

Could it be that God is actually allowing that current challenge in your life so that you will turn to Him in your desperation and experience His love, guidance and comfort in a life-changing way?  He promises you a dramatic encounter with Him if you will earnestly seek Him.   Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you see me with all your heart”. 

Are your prayers too puny?

Does your husband have a destructive addiction? Do you have a serious problem with self-control yourself?  Are you and your husband arguing so much that you’re not sure your marriage will survive?  There are some practical things you can do about all the above scenarios, but more than likely, what you really need is a miracle.  You need God to supernaturally intervene to change hearts, expose schemes of the enemy, and fill both of you with the Holy Spirit so that you are radically changed.  The good news is He can do all that!

Your part in all this is to pray…earnestly, without ceasing, and with total faith in the power of Jesus Christ to perform a miracle!  It really is critical for you to trust in the power of God to do the impossible!   In fact, when Jesus walked this earth, he was unable to do miracles of healing in towns where there was too much unbelief!  (Mark 6:5-6)  

I have seen God perform modern-day miracles, and I know he can do a miracle in your marriage, your finances, your health, etc.  I have witnessed God bringing an elderly man to humbly accept Christ in his 90’s after a long life filled with evil and pride.  I have seen God set a porn-addicted husband free from that snare and now his marriage is thriving! I have seen God miraculously provide financial provision at the last minute, and in a totally unusual way! I have seen God heal a man who doctors said would be brain dead, but he is functioning totally normally years later.

Here are 2 verses that may encourage you to pray with great faith. Matthew 21:22 says “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”  And in Matthew 9:29, as Jesus is about to heal some blind men, He says, “According to your faith, will it be done to you.”

Powerful prayer starts this way

Do you ever feel like your prayers are bouncing off the ceiling?  Do your prayers seem ineffective?  Well, could it be that you’ve fallen into a very common pattern of simply using your prayers to tell God what to do, when to do it, and how to do everything?!  Hah!  I know I’ve fallen into that pattern more times than I care to admit.

The truth is that God doesn’t need us to explain to Him what to do.  If we’re being honest, we can acknowledge that we don’t always know the best thing to do.  But Jesus does know!  So maybe we should ask Him!

Here’s a mind-blowing fact.  Jesus is actually praying (interceding) to the Father for YOU right now!  Romans 8:34 says “Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.”

Another huge truth from the Bible is that our heavenly Father answer the prayers of people who are praying in line with His will.  1 John 5:14  And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.

Put these two truths together and it becomes clear that the key to powerful prayer is to ask Jesus how He is praying for us or the challenge we’re worried about, and then to pray in alignment with Him.  When we start prayer that way, we know we are praying according to God’s will, and God answers those prayers! 

If you’re wondering how to know what Jesus is praying, simply ask Him to tell you and then await a gentle nudge of your spirit….a quiet whisper to your heart….a word downloaded into your mind.  Jesus says this in John 10:27  My sheep hear my voice….  So ask Him how he’s praying, await his direction, and then join him in that prayer.  How powerful!!

Suffering from approval exhaustion?

In a recent prayer time, God gently confronted me. He asked me this simple question. Are you going to be a slave to your to-do-list today, or are you going to focus on bringing me glory? Here is another way of posing the question for both you and me: Are you working tirelessly to bring yourself glory as the “perfect wife’, “perfect mother”, perfect Christian, etc, or are you releasing your day to God and asking him to show you what to do and what NOT to do in order to bring HIM glory?

Oh man! Busted. To be honest, I tend to drive myself to always do more and do it better, because I want to look good in other people’s eyes. I become exhausted and stressed in the process. The good news is that God didn’t design us to be people-pleasers. Yes, we are to love people, but our focus shouldn’t be on doing whatever they want. Our focus also shouldn’t be trying to look good in people’s eyes. The Bible reminds us in Galatians 1:10 “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?”

I am confident that if you and I were both to release our days to God and ask Him to guide us, we would find much more peace! We would be free of performance-exhaustion. We would find freedom from approval exhaustion. Instead, we would be free to follow God’s promptings, which will lead to greater joy and peace than we’ve ever known. In fact, if you listen for God’s voice, he might even tell you to take a nap or relax while listening to praise music! God’s Word promises that those who seek to follow Him (instead of following their own agenda) will enter peace! (Isaiah 57:2 says, “For the righteous man is taken away from calamity; he enters into peace.” And Isaiah 26:3 reminds us, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”