In order for you and I to become confident, dignified wives who refuse to put up with disrespect or abuse, we must begin to see ourselves the way God sees us. Emotionally-bruising words may have been spoken to you as a child and those hurtful words can easily become your identity. Perhaps you made some major mistakes as a teen or young woman, and you started calling yourself a loser or hopeless or unlovable.
God wants you to listen for His voice above all the other voices we hear both externally and internally. In John 10:27, Jesus says “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” Jesus wants to speak to you! He wants to let you know how He sees you and how much he delights in you. Here are 2 things that can help you truly comprehend how God sees you:
1) Meditate on Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with his love. He will rejoice over you with singing.”
2) Be still and ask God to whisper a word to your spirit about how he sees you. Have faith that He WILL speak to you. Be receptive, and listen. He loves you!
I often talk and write about how wives were created to be their husband’s helper, and while that’s true, I feel it’s necessary to make a clarification. Yes, we should help our husbands by showing them respect, allowing them to lead the family, and assisting them as they seek to follow God’s promptings in their life. However, that doesn’t mean a wife should give up her own individual identity in the process.
Submitting to your husband’s leadership does not mean that you become a doormat which has no value. Helping your husband does not mean you sacrifice doing the things that bring you great joy. Respecting your husband doesn’t mean he’s always right and you’re always wrong. If you go too far in that direction, you will become an empty shell. It’s as if your heart doesn’t matter. God doesn’t intend that for you. In fact, He says in Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.”
Spend some time in prayer with God and ask Him to reveal if there are any areas of your life where you have lost your true identity. Have you stopped doing some things that bring you fully alive? Is it time to sit down with your husband and talk about how you can both live in a way that brings joy and fulfillment?