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Heart growing cold toward hubby?

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I know what it’s like for a wife’s heart to grow hard and cold toward her husband.  I let that happen in my first marriage of 18 years…a marriage that ended in divorce.  Don’t let that happen to you.  Your marriage and your family are worth fighting for!

In my experience, the reason a wife’s heart grows cold usually comes down to two things.  She has not established firm, clear boundaries on disrespectful or destructive behavior…or she has expected her husband to make her happy and blames him for failing to do so.  Could one of these reasons apply to you?

Boundaries:  It is Biblical to lovingly confront someone who is sinning against you and establish boundaries in that relationship…with the goal being that the person will repent and be welcomed back into full relationship.  Read Matthew 18:15-17 to learn what Jesus has to say about this.  Also keep in mind Galatians 6:1, which says. “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.”

Expectations:  If you expect your husband to make you happy, realize you have an unrealistic expectation!  The only one who you can trust 100% to bring you fulfillment, joy, and perfect love is….the Lord!  Make the relationship with Him your top priority, and once you feel secure in that relationship, your heart will likely become softer and more compassionate toward your husband.

God’s guidance in relationships

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I don’t know about you, but I am often reactionary in my relationships.  I get upset or frustrated or worried, and I react emotionally.  Sometimes, this doesn’t cause any damage, but other times, it’s not exactly helpful or beneficial!

I’m trying to operate under a new and improved system, and I’m finding it works far better, probably because it’s God’s plan for his people. Hah!  I’m earnestly seeking to submit myself to God moment by moment and I’m asking his Holy Spirit to nudge me and instruct me during every single interaction with others.  In other words, I’m inclining my heart and spirit to listen intently for the gentle whispers and nudges of the Holy Spirit every time I interact with family members, neighbors, friends, coworkers, church members, and even the grocery store clerk and the UPS delivery guy!

God designed us to operate this way.  Psalm 123:2  Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God.  This is such an inspiring word picture!  We are designed to be so tuned into the Lord that we notice God’s subtle, quiet instructions to us, and then we immediately obey.

Let’s commit to seeking the Lord’s guidance through his Holy Spirit, moment by moment, especially in marriage and family relationships.  This will likely be life-changing, and in a good way!  God alone knows how to improve every relationship, how to truly help others, and how to advance his kingdom here on earth.  We need his guidance.

Try this amazing spiritual discipline

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

The spiritual discipline that has most transformed my life; the one that has brought me such brilliant guidance; the one that has comforted me during grief; the one that has given me great hope for the future: the one that has slowly but surely matured me; the one that has made me feel cherished….is this.  I have been transformed by the simple spiritual discipline of quieting myself and asking God to communicate with me. 

Many of us pray. We call out to God when we’re in a desperate situation. We tell Him what to do.  We talk and talk at God, but do we ever stop talking and realize that communication is a 2-way street?!  Yes, God wants us to bring our concerns to Him in prayer, but more than that, He wants to talk to us!  He has many things to reveal to us.  He wants to reveal His character and His love.  He wants to guide us and prompt us to become more spiritually mature.  He wants to instruct us on how we can partner with Him to expand His kingdom.  But we’ll never receive any of those things if we end up doing all the talking and none of the listening!

God created us to be in relationship with Him and He longs to communicate with us.  Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.

I have found 2 ways to best hear God communicating to me.  One is pausing before and after I read a section of the Bibe and asking God “what are you trying to tell me?”  2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.

There is a second way that I have begun hearing from God, and it has become so very sweet to me.  I have begun the practice of taking just 1 minute each morning to be completely still.  I close my eyes and envision being with God, and then I ask Jesus to draw close and tell me what He wants me to know that day.  Sometimes I sense Jesus giving me a vision.  Sometimes I sense Him speaking a few instrumental words to my heart.  Jesus is always speaking to His followers if we will simply listen! As Jesus told his followers in John 10:27 “My sheep hear my voice”.

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