guidelines

Dating guide for Christian women

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I never thought I would be dating again late in life, but when my beloved husband Raul passed away in November of 2021, I sensed that God was saying he would provide another husband as my life partner for the rest of my years.  So I began that crazy, sometimes frustrating, journey of dating!

I began applying some of the dating insights I had gleaned over my many years here on this earth along with guiding Bible principles.  So, I want to pass on some of that to you in this short little devotional.

First, God makes it clear that a Christian should not be linked in close partnership with an unbeliever.  2 Corinthians 6:14  Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?  This is critical!  If you end up marrying an unbeliever, Satan has total entry to wreak havoc in your marriage!  You two will not be pulling the same direction.  Also, without the Bible as a moral compass, your husband will have no constraints on immoral or disrespectful behavior, and that can definitely lead to heartbreak for you.

Next, keep in mind that a lot of guys might SAY they are a Christian, and they might even attend church, but that does NOT mean they are a true follower of Jesus.  You need to look for evidence of Christ’s presence in their life.  Do they show any fruit of the spirit?  Galatians 5:22-23  the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control.

And here’s one other huge tip.  Stay sexually pure while dating. Save sex until your marriage.  This is clearly God’s will, and when we obey God, he blesses us.  I don’t know about you but I want to have God’s blessing!!  Here are 4 quick little tips to avoid falling into sexual sin while dating:

  1. Don’t get horizontal!
  2. Don’t stay overnight at each other’s homes even if you have good intentions to sleep on the couch.
  3. Don’t stay together after midnight because that’s usually when temptation creeps in.
  4. Resist the urge to French kiss before marriage. I know it’s tempting, but it’s also super arousing and may lead to where you vowed not to go until marriage!

Reasonable boundaries in the bedroom

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Insist on being yourself in the bedroom, ladies!  What do I mean by that? Well, unfortunately, I frequently hear stories from women about how their husbands are asking them to do increasingly bizarre things in the bedroom.  Their guys want them to perform rather perverse sex acts, or dress like a stripper and do a pole dance, or dress like a dominatrix with whips and chains.

Why are many husbands asking these things of their wives?  It’s likely because they’ve seen such stuff in pornography and they’re trying to replicate it with you!  I don’t know about you, but I don’t think this is ok.  Does it seem right that your husband would use you to try to recreate a fantasy featuring another woman he saw on a porn site?  At that point, your husband isn’t even making love to you.  It’s only about the sex act and you’re just playing a role.

The Bible instructs husbands in 1 Peter 3:7 “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”  It is not respectful for your husband to ask you to play the role of some fantasy character from a porn site!  I believe it’s right for you to insist that you get to be yourself in the bedroom.  Yes, as a wife, you can wear sexy lingerie and be adventurous and playful in the bedroom, but let’s agree that a wife should be herself, and not play some fantasy role of a high school cheerleader or dominatrix!  That’s my take on the subject. What do you think?