In my current Bible reading, I’ve been struck with how many times God used women to take a bold, courageous, and wise stand against the enemy. There are so many occasions where a woman steps out to lead or help God’s people when the enemy is attacking. Here are some of the examples: Abigail (in 1 Samuel 25) acts wisely when her husband did not. Rahab (Joshua 2) hides God’s people from the enemy. Deborah (Judges 4) courageously leads the people of God into war against the enemy. Esther (Esther 4 & 5) boldly intercedes for God’s people even though it was dangerous for her to do so. The wise woman (2 Samuel 20) reasoned with an enemy who was about to destroy her city and her wisdom saved the city.
What can we learn from these women? They were all very alert to the enemy’s schemes and they all boldly chose to take action against the enemy, trusting in God for the outcome. So here is the question for you: Do you see the enemy attacking your husband, your marriage, your family, or individual children? If you do, are you going to just wring your hands in despair, or are you going to take action? Hopefully, you will become a courageous woman of action! What does God want you to do? Do you need to commit to press into prayer every single day, several times a day? Do you need to boldly confront an issue? Do you need to get wise counsel from a godly woman? Do you need to ask others to pray with you?
I hear quite a few stories of women, both married and unmarried, who tell me how arguments get heated in their relationships. Their husband says something critical, and they dish it right back at him. Their boyfriend says something unkind, and they lash right back at him. In both cases, arguments quickly evolve into a really ugly war because neither one paused before responding. Pausing is one of the most important moments in any relationship! It is the KEY moment!
The Bible says in Proverbs 12:18 “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” It is SO important to pause instead of reacting with reckless words! So the next time you feel your temper about to erupt, pause for 5 or 10 seconds. Ask God to show you in that moment how He wants you to respond. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what will likely happen if you say what you feel like saying in this tense moment! (Usually, the Holy Spirit will show me that those words I was about to say will cause some serious damage in the relationship!) You may even need to leave the room during this pause.
By the way, if you’re texting back and forth with your guy, you may need to put down your cell phone and pray before you text back!! Remember, once those words have been voiced in person or typed in on your text, you can’t take them back. “Pausing” is one of your best friends in any relationship!
Does your mouth often cause trouble between you and your husband (or between you and other people)? If you’re one of many women who end up “venting” on their husband or saying harsh words you later regret, God’s Word gives us 3 clues on how we can respond appropriately when we start to feel our anger rising.
1) Pause. Just stop. Leave the room for a moment if you need to. Don’t react in the moment because your gut-level reaction will almost always cause trouble! James 1:19 puts it this way, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” So pause before you react verbally.
2) During the pause, consult the Holy Spirit and ask the Holy Spirit to help you understand how to love and respect your husband with your response. Would your husband be positively impacted by a gentle and encouraging word from you? Would your husband be more willing to make changes that you’re requesting if you showed him respect by asking him to help you understand his perspective? Philippians 2:4 says “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others.”
3) When you’re ready to address the issue with your husband, say a silent prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to be the one speaking to your husband by using your mouth. Trust me. The Holy Spirit will come up with much better words than you ever could, and will utter those words in a much more respectful way! When speaking to his disciples, Jesus said in Matthew 10:19-20, “But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.”
We have an enemy. 1 Peter 5:8 says “Be alert and sober-minded. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” The devil and his demons are looking for ways to destroy your marriage, destroy you, destroy your husband and destroy your children. However, there is good news if you have asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior! In 1 John 4:4, God says “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” We just need to take authority against the enemy. So often, we forget to do that!
Ladies, we have a critical role to play in spiritual warfare. We need to take a stand against the enemy….every day. Jesus makes it clear that we do get to take authority in the invisible, spiritual realm. Jesus tells his followers in Luke 10:19, “I give you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.” So, in Jesus’ name, command all evil spirits to leave your husband, your children, your home, and yourself. Then, ask God to fill you and your loved ones each day with His Holy Spirit. Let’s all agree to take bold authority against the enemy, and let’s commit to doing this on a daily basis.