effectively

Marriage communication tip 1

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

You might recall the opening theme to the original Superman TV series.  The announcer proclaims that Superman is “faster than a speeding bullet”. Well, God has been showing me how a part of me is also faster than a speeding bullet….and can cause as much damage as a live round of ammunition.  That part of me is my mouth!

You may have the same challenge as I did in my marriage to my late husband Raul.  Do you often get impatient when your husband is trying to express himself and end up finishing his sentences? I did.  Do you interrupt your husband when he pauses mid-sentence?  I did.  Do you sometimes jump in and tell him how he should handle something as he’s trying to explain a challenging situation?  I did.  Do you get frustrated with him and react with harsh, disrespectful words that you can’t take back?  Hmmm. 

Let’s pray that God would give us the ability to be good listeners, patient talkers, and respectful communicators!  This is definitely God’s will for us, as revealed in James 1:19:  “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…”   The first step is to coach yourself at the beginning of a conversation with your husband.  Remind your soul…”I will honor the Lord and my husband by listening quietly and responding respectfully”…”listening quietly, responding respectfully”…”listening quietly, responding respectfully”…(repeat as necessary!!).

Are your prayers too puny?

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Does your husband have a destructive addiction? Do you have a serious problem with self-control yourself?  Are you and your husband arguing so much that you’re not sure your marriage will survive?  There are some practical things you can do about all the above scenarios, but more than likely, what you really need is a miracle.  You need God to supernaturally intervene to change hearts, expose schemes of the enemy, and fill both of you with the Holy Spirit so that you are radically changed.  The good news is He can do all that!

Your part in all this is to pray…earnestly, without ceasing, and with total faith in the power of Jesus Christ to perform a miracle!  It really is critical for you to trust in the power of God to do the impossible!   In fact, when Jesus walked this earth, he was unable to do miracles of healing in towns where there was too much unbelief!  (Mark 6:5-6)  

I have seen God perform modern-day miracles, and I know he can do a miracle in your marriage, your finances, your health, etc.  I have witnessed God bringing an elderly man to humbly accept Christ in his 90’s after a long life filled with evil and pride.  I have seen God set a porn-addicted husband free from that snare and now his marriage is thriving! I have seen God miraculously provide financial provision at the last minute, and in a totally unusual way! I have seen God heal a man who doctors said would be brain dead, but he is functioning totally normally years later.

Here are 2 verses that may encourage you to pray with great faith. Matthew 21:22 says “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”  And in Matthew 9:29, as Jesus is about to heal some blind men, He says, “According to your faith, will it be done to you.”

Powerful prayer starts this way

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Do you ever feel like your prayers are bouncing off the ceiling?  Do your prayers seem ineffective?  Well, could it be that you’ve fallen into a very common pattern of simply using your prayers to tell God what to do, when to do it, and how to do everything?!  Hah!  I know I’ve fallen into that pattern more times than I care to admit.

The truth is that God doesn’t need us to explain to Him what to do.  If we’re being honest, we can acknowledge that we don’t always know the best thing to do.  But Jesus does know!  So maybe we should ask Him!

Here’s a mind-blowing fact.  Jesus is actually praying (interceding) to the Father for YOU right now!  Romans 8:34 says “Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.”

Another huge truth from the Bible is that our heavenly Father answer the prayers of people who are praying in line with His will.  1 John 5:14  And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.

Put these two truths together and it becomes clear that the key to powerful prayer is to ask Jesus how He is praying for us or the challenge we’re worried about, and then to pray in alignment with Him.  When we start prayer that way, we know we are praying according to God’s will, and God answers those prayers! 

If you’re wondering how to know what Jesus is praying, simply ask Him to tell you and then await a gentle nudge of your spirit….a quiet whisper to your heart….a word downloaded into your mind.  Jesus says this in John 10:27  My sheep hear my voice….  So ask Him how he’s praying, await his direction, and then join him in that prayer.  How powerful!!

Tips on how to share the Gospel

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

If you are a follower of Jesus, I’m sure you are so very grateful for his presence in your life and for the sacrifice He made so that you can be guaranteed a forever life in paradise with God. But don’t you want other people in your life to find the same rich relationship and promise for the future that you have discovered? You probably do, but aren’t quite sure how to share the Gospel message with relatives, friends, co-workers and neighbors. Maybe you shrink back due to fear of what others will think. Perhaps you need help in becoming more confident and bold.


Allow me to share 5 Bible verses that can be somewhat of a guide as you consider sharing the Gospel message with others.


1) Ask God to show you who you are supposed to talk to about Jesus and invite to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. God may be assigning you that job, or perhaps God has appointed someone else to be the person. So ask God! Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
2) Ask God to show you the right time to present the Gospel. Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—
3) Ask God to give you confidence and boldness instead of fearing the person’s reaction! Romans 1:16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes…
4) Study Bible verses that reveal the path to salvation, and that also equip yourself with Bible verses that may address any objections or questions that person raises. 2 Timothy 4:2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.
5) In the end, rely on the Holy Spirit to give you the exact words to say to that specific person. Luke 21:14-15 Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict.

Big mistakes wives make when upset

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

All wives are going to be disappointed or frustrated with their husbands from time to time. That’s normal. It’s how a wife voices her disappointment or anger that can become the problem.

I had a front row seat for this the other day. A wife had allowed a multitude of disappointments to stack up and when she could contain the building lava dome inside her no longer, she blew her top and spewed out ALL her grievances at once. It was too much for her husband to take in at the same time, and I watched him shut down and withdraw emotionally.

The lesson became clear to me. Pick your battles wisely. No one, especially a man, wants to hear a long list of grievances and frustrations all at once. It’s too much to handle! He will likely either shut down or push back aggressively. Neither is a good option!

The wise and appreciated wife decides to stick to one issue at a time. She lets some of the little frustrations go. She is patient as she works through major issues, one at a time.

These 2 Bible verses could be instructive for all of us wives. Proverbs 10:19 Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. Proverbs 25:15 With patience a ruler can be persuaded.

** or view this topic as a 2 minute VIDEO BELOW

What to pray for your husband

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

You may have an “impossible” situation going on in your marriage, such as a husband who doesn’t believe in God, or who is an alcoholic who refuses to get help, or who is harsh and critical with the kids, or who is hooked on pornography.  I would certainly recommend that you establish some serious boundaries and consequences if your husband is sinning against you or the kids, but here’s the thing you and I need to realize.  Only God can change your husband’s heart.  That’s where your prayers make a gigantic impact.  Prayers that are offered in line with God’s will can accomplish the seemingly impossible!

That’s why praying actual Bible verses is so powerful!  We know Bible verses are in line with God’s will.  If your “impossible” situation involves your husband, let me point you to a list of suggested Bible verses to pray for your husband on the “Free Resources” tab at www.squadronofsisters.com.   It’s a free PDF that you can print.  I urge you to do so, and begin praying for your marriage, your husband, and your family.  Your prayer offered in faith and trust in God is extremely powerful.  Jesus says in Mark 11:23, “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.” 

One more thing.  Don’t grow weary in praying.  Sometimes it takes months or years of praying before you see results.  Read the parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18 to get inspired to press into sustained prayer for your “impossible” situation.

Let God show off for you

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Recently, I was reminded yet again that God loves it when his kids come to him with a request that is in line with his will.  He loves responding with his mighty power and loving kindness when his children cry out to him in prayer!

My latest example has to do with a loved one who was in desperate need of some circumstances to change.  It seemed impossible, and trying to overcome gigantic obstacles had become absolutely exhausting.  I told this loved one that I would pray for them.  And I did.  In this particular instance, as I paused and asked God how He wanted to work in this difficult situation, I sensed a nudge from him that I was supposed to tell my loved one that they were to bring every single challenge and obstacle directly to him in prayer, instead of getting frustrated or exhausted by trying to solve it on their own.  Furthermore, I sensed God telling me to relay to this loved one that as they brought the concerns to God in prayer, they would behold him working miracles on their behalf.

Honestly, this was a giant step of faith for me to relay this.  I was basically telling them that God was going to come through!  And, of course, the human part of me began thinking, “um, what if God doesn’t come through?  Then what will happen to this person’s fledging faith in God?”  But I decided to obey God’s prompting, and God came through!  Within hours of this loved one praying for God to overcome some seemingly impossible obstacles, God graciously and powerfully obliterated those obstacles. Wow!

The lesson I gleaned from this event is simple but huge.  Pray about everything. Seek God’s counsel on everything.  Trust God to powerfully work on your behalf, as long as what you’re asking for is in line with his will.  AND, be thankful, because He is a loving father and He sees you even when your circumstances seem dire.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18  Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

How prayer changes your guy

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Prayer really is powerful!  You might be concerned about your husband’s actions or decisions.  You may be distressed about his lack of attention or affection toward you or the children.  If the offense is serious enough, you may need to establish boundaries, but at the end of the day, the truth is…YOU can’t change your husband.  However, the good news is that God DOES have the power to change your husband’s heart!  Ezekiel 36:26 lets me know God can change your man’s heart because that verse says “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you”.  I love to encourage wives to pray that verse for their husbands if their men appear to be off course in some area of their life.  Then, we have to be patient while we wait for God to answer our prayers for our men.  We also have to be intentionally watchful or we may even miss the answer to our prayer.

I was just thinking back about prayers I lifted to God many years ago regarding my late husband Raul.  I suddenly realized that God had actually answered those prayers before he passed away!  The changes happened so slowly and over such a long period of time that I hadn’t really noticed!  Hmmm.  It’s a good reminder to pray persistently, as Jesus instructs us to do in Luke 18, and then be watchful and alert for his answers.  Colossians 4:2 says “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”  So, don’t let an answered prayer slip by unnoticed.  We don’t want to miss out on thanking God and rejoicing in His faithfulness.

Looking back, can you see God making slow changes in your marriage, in you, or in your husband as a result of your long-time prayers?