driven

2 problems for perfectionists!

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

There have been so many times that I have lost my cool over a trivial mistake I’ve made!  I beat myself up and feel disgusted with myself. Perhaps you’ve done the same thing a time or two.  What makes the situation even worse is then we become a grump around our husband and children. Because we have worked ourselves into a foul mood, it infects them as well. That’s the first problem caused by perfectionism.  We become grumpy, irritable people, and no one wants to be around that!! Perhaps we need to remind ourselves that we need to be able to laugh at some of our mistakes.

Here’s the second problem linked with perfectionism.  Pride.  Often, perfectionists are driven by a desire to be admired; to impress others so they will be thought of highly.   A perfectionist can’t laugh at their silly mistakes.  A perfectionist takes herself too seriously.  A perfectionist must drive herself to achieve, and achieve perfectly, because a perfectionist has a secret motivation to be admired by others.  However, this relentless need to impress others is really rooted in pride, and God detests the proud!

These days, I’m trying to let go of my pride and admit I’m a human being who isn’t perfect 100% of the time!  You know what I’ve found?  Everyone, including my family members, seems to like me better.   Humility is such an attractive quality.  Psalm 18:27 says “You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.”  Let’s work on being humble this week.  When we mess up, and we will, let’s LOL.  Everyone around you will appreciate this new attitude!

Message for women who make lists!

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Hello.  My name is Debbie Chavez, and I’m a list-aholic.  Yes, I admit it.  I love being super- organized, and I love “accomplishing” a lot every day.  It makes me feel good about myself.  In fact, my compulsion to accomplish tons of stuff everyday is so bad…..if I do something that was not on my list, I actually add it onto my list so that I can scratch it out! 

There is nothing wrong with completing many tasks each day, and there is certainly nothing wrong with being organized, but when we become a slave to our lists, we have a problem.  How about you?  Are you a list-acholic?  Here’s what I’ve been noticing lately.  When I become a slave to my to-do list, I am not a very peaceful woman.  I become a driven person, and I’m not flexible enough to respond to new situations or needs in my family.  Perhaps we need to meditate on the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:40-42.  Martha was busy bustling about with tasks, while Mary sat peacefully at the feet of Jesus.  Jesus gently rebuked Martha in verse 42 saying, “Martha, Martha…you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed, or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better…”

So, maybe you and I should stop being neurotic about our lists!  I am still making a list each day, but unless something on that list is absolutely critical, I’m allowing myself to skip some of the items in order to respond to my family or friends if I can see that they could use my help or encouragement.  If you’re a wife, I believe this adjustment could make you more like the 1 Peter 3 wife.  She is described as having a “gentle and quiet spirit”.  I don’t think she could be quiet and peaceful if she was running around like a chicken with her head cut off!  She obviously wasn’t a slave to a long to-do-list.   The question is:  Do you need to re-evaluate your lists?