I’m a fairly confident, secure woman….most of the time. But there are still moments where that awful insecurity shows up. How about you? For me, it often relates to the way I look. I compare myself to other women and fall way short. Sometimes, I’m insecure in terms of whether friends or even relatives really like me. Other times, I get down on myself about whether anything I do really matters. Ugh. I hate feeling so insecure!
So, how do we become more secure? Well, for me, it means turning to God for my “value”. I need to remember the only audience that really matters is an audience of one. God is the one with whom I will spend eternity. He is the one who created me to be in relationship with Him. He is really the only one I need to please, and what he says about me is really all that matters.
Meditate on these Scriptures and if you’re anything like me, you will feel a warm blanket of security envelop you.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you; He will quiet you with his love; He will rejoice over you with singing.
For you and I to become confident, dignified wives who refuse to put up with disrespect or abuse, we must begin to see ourselves the way God sees us. Emotionally-bruising words may have been spoken to you as a child and those hurtful words can easily become your identity. Perhaps you made some major mistakes as a teen or young woman, and you started calling yourself a loser or hopeless or unlovable.
God wants you to listen for His voice above all the other voices we hear both externally and internally. In John 10:27, Jesus says “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” Jesus wants to speak to you! He wants to let you know how He sees you and how much he delights in you. Here are 2 things that can help you truly comprehend how God sees you:
1) Meditate on Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with his love. He will rejoice over you with singing.”
2) Be still and ask God to whisper a word to your spirit about how he sees you. Have faith that He WILL speak to you. Be receptive, and listen. He loves you!
Do you wish you could be a more courageous woman, a more secure woman, a more confident woman, and a woman who is able to stand strong under pressure or hardship? I think I’ve found the answer. We must go beyond just accepting Christ as our Savior, and truly decide to make Christ our Lord!
When I think about the ladies I know who are strong, confident and unshakeable Christian women, they all have something in common. They have made the courageous decision to surrender their lives to Jesus and they’ve truly committed to following him as the leader and master of their lives. This is, in fact, what the Bible calls us to do in Romans 10:9…If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. It’s important to note that this Bible verse tells us to declare Jesus as “Lord”, which means “master” in the original Greek.
Have you truly made Jesus your master? Maybe that’s the missing piece in your life. I can tell you from personal experience that once you truly make a heart decision to make Jesus your Lord and master, all His promises to love you, comfort you, and counsel you start to come alive in your spirit. You begin to realize that you can trust his leadership 100%. Once that happens, you’ll find yourself strong, confident and unshakeable!
Do you lack confidence in handling disrespectful or sinful behavior by your husband (or boyfriend)? If so, there are some common reasons. Perhaps you avoid conflict because you grew up in a home filled with rage and verbal abuse. Maybe you’re so insecure about your own worth that you can’t stand up for yourself if your husband is treating your poorly. However, you need to recognize this truth. If you remain insecure and scared of confrontation, it’s likely nothing will ever change in your marriage. You’ll keep getting what you’re getting right now.
There is a solution. First, ask God to give you courage to confront any sinful behavior in your marriage. He will be glad to answer that prayer! Throughout the Bible, God continually tells his people to be strong and courageous. In fact in Joshua 1:9, God says “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Helpful hint: When I need courage, I ask God’s Holy Spirit to be the one who actually does the confrontation. I ask Him to simply use me as his mouthpiece.
If insecurity is the issue for you, then ask God to reveal your true worth and identity in His eyes. Meditating on what God says in Zephaniah 3:17 is a good place to start. He says, “The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing.” In addition, take a moment to close your eyes and ask God to speak one word into your mind about how He views you. You will likely be amazed at the loving, encouraging word He has for you. You may hear the word “beautiful” or “chosen” or “adorable” or “strong”….
Most women wrestle with insecurity, and when we live in a place of insecurity, we often make unhealthy choices. We tend to put up with disrespectful behavior. We tend to look to other people for our value and become codependent in relationships. We grow super disappointed and resentful when other people (such as a husband!) don’t make us feel secure, happy, and content!
Well, I have found that meditating on these 3 Bible verses helps me start to feel more secure and grounded. I become more confident in both my value and the decisions I need to make in life. I begin to relax and feel safe. As a result, I can approach all my relationships in a much healthier way! Here are the 3 verses:
1) He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will (Ephesians 1:5) *you are his adopted daughter! Awesome!!
2) Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you (Hebrews 13:5) *He will always be by your side! Awesome!!
3) You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. (Psalm 73:24) *He will guide me in all my decisions and he is preparing a fantastic future for me in eternity! Awesome!!
Most women are plagued by insecurity. As a result of our insecurity, we end up putting up with rude or abusive behavior from others. Our insecurity leads up to covet what other women have. Our insecurity prompts us to put other people down so we look better in comparison. When we are drowning in insecurity, we tend to expect a man to be the “answer”. We seek and catch a husband and then expect him to make us feel better about ourselves by constantly telling us that we’re beautiful, desirable, smart, funny, intelligent, etc. However, our husbands are imperfect themselves! They can’t be our source of security.
I believe we would benefit by reading aloud one particular Bible verse every morning. It is a great reminder of how God sees us. It’s a reminder that He loves us and even delights in us! This verse portrays the picture of a loving father tenderly cradling his daughter in his arms. Here is the verse. Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing.” Close your eyes and picture God smiling at you as he holds you. Hear him whispering those words to you. Ah. So good. I feel so much more secure. How about you?