Do this for better relationships!

December 15, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I still remember the time about 10 years ago when a woman who had been attending our women’s ministry for years told me, “After all these years to listening to God’s instructions, I finally realized I should actually apply them!” She started working to apply the Bible’s instructions on relationships and reported back to me that she began seeing amazing results!

This is what I mean when I say “Be a doer in relationships”. The concept of “doing” comes from James 1:22 where the Bible gives this succinct but powerful instruction: Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Duh! Reading the Bible or hearing great preaching isn’t meant to just go in one ear and our the other! God intends for us to apply what He is showing us! He created human beings, so He knows best what leads to healthy, strong, loving relationships.

I can pretty much guarantee you that if you and I were to actually seek to apply what the Bible instructs us to do in relationships, we would see relationships healed and improved! One of the most instructive sections of scripture on relationships is found in Colossians 3:12-13 (amplified translation) So, as God’s own chosen people, who are holy [set apart, sanctified for His purpose] and well-beloved [by God Himself], put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience [which has the power to endure whatever injustice or unpleasantness comes, with good temper]; 13 bearing graciously with one another, and willingly forgiving each other if one has a cause for complaint against another; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive.

Let’s all seek to actually follow these instructions. Be a “doer” of God’s instructions, and get ready for some amazing results!

Apply God’s big command to wives

October 21, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

The Lord gives wives a very misunderstood instruction in the Bible. It’s a command that can seem kind of strange, to tell the truth! The Bible instructs wives in Ephesians 5:33 to respect their husbands. But what does that really mean? Well, when I looked up the original Greek word for respect, it means “to be in awe of” or “to revere”. Oh my! You may love your husband, but I bet you don’t think of treating him like you “revere” him!

I wonder how your marriage would be impacted if you really sought to revere your husband? Hmmm. Well, first we need to better understand the word “revere”. Webster’s dictionary says revere means to treat with deferential honor or to regard as worthy of great honor. Are you starting to get the picture?

Here’s my challenge to you this week. 😊 Would you be willing to strive to treat your husband as if everything he says is really worth your complete attention? Yes, this means actually paying attention when he speaks and treating his thoughts, feelings and ideas as very important. That’s how a person should respond if they think someone is worthy of great honor. Are you doing this with your husband? Treating him with honor might mean asking his opinion on how things should run in your family and then actually incorporating his ideas! Treating him with “awe” might mean taking a few seconds to actually walk over and greet him with a smile and a kiss when he comes home…as if he’s important!

I wonder how your marriage would be impacted if you started showing respect to your husband (whether you FEEL like it or not)? I have a sneaking suspicion that your guy would stand a little taller, feel more confident, enjoy emotional intimacy with you much more, and maybe even be more courageous in seeking to honor God!

God won’t waste your pain

October 16, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

No one really embraces heartbreak or suffering. We usually do everything we can to avoid it, and we often complain to God when He doesn’t put an end to it at our first request. But maybe he is allowing the suffering for a really good reason. Maybe He has purpose even when he allows us to experience disappointment or even heartbreak.

I think of several stories from the Bible. Joseph’s story in Genesis, chapters 37-50, is a prime example. Even though Joseph endured great suffering for many years as he wrongly spent time in prison, God had a masterful plan he was executing behind the scenes….a plan that would involve Joseph rising to great power in Egypt and helping his family gain food during a famine in Israel. I also think of the great apostles Peter and Paul. They were beaten and thrown into prison, but God later miraculously freed them from prison and their story inspired many to follow Christ.

The Bible reveals that there is purpose in suffering and heartbreak. Romans 5:3-5 says “…we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” So, perhaps instead of feeling sorry for ourselves or feeling anger toward God, maybe you and I should choose to trust God even in the midst of heartbreak. Maybe we should ask God to use our suffering to build our character. God won’t waste your heartbreak. He will use it to do something beautiful.

This curse on women explains much!

September 22, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

When you think of the curses placed on Adam and Eve after they ate the forbidden apple, you probably think of Adam having to toil to bring food to the table and you likely think of Eve having to endure pain in childbirth. However, there is another curse placed on Eve that may have escaped your notice. It’s found in Genesis 3:16 where God says “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you“. That word “desire” in the original Hebrew means “to run to, to stretch out after, to have a vehement desire for”. Oh my. This explains a lot!

Almost all women struggle with almost an insane, overwhelming desire to secure a man. And this starts early! In fact, over the years, as I’ve observed my granddaughters at toddler age, they have tended to gravitate to their grandpas, dads, and boy cousins. Hmmm.

My point is this. If we recognize this curse, we will be more able to deal with it. The curse may explain why it’s so difficult for most women to establish and enforce boundaries with their husbands when their men are sinning against them by using pornography, drinking excessively, gambling large sums of money, spending time with other women, etc. If we do indeed have a deep instinctive desire (curse) to desperately hang onto our guy, we believe we can’t do anything to threaten our grip! This explains a lot, doesn’t it? Knowledge is the beginning of understanding. Ask Jesus to give you clarity about how your thoughts and actions are being affected by the curse. Then ask Him to give you courage and strength to make wise decisions. Tip: When you stop making a man the most important thing in your life and make Jesus your main relationship, then you will have the courage and confidence to set wise boundaries in your marriage (or dating relationships!

How wives display a “gentle” spirit

June 16, 2025Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

1 Peter 3:4 instructs wives to have a gentle, quiet spirit. Hmmm. This can be a rather confusing and frustrating instruction! In fact, many wives rebel against this guidance from the Lord. Why is that? Well, I think it boils down to 2 things.

First, some wives fear that being quiet and gentle means they’re going to be controlled by their husband or become a weak doormat kind of wife! Personally, in my marriage to my late husband Raul, I feared being controlled. It’s because I was hurt by people who controlled me when I was young. So, I rebelled at anything that even smelled like control! But here’s what both you and I need to know. Just because we allow our husbands to lead, does not mean that we are weak and have no voice. It is something we get to CHOOSE to do to bring honor to God and honor to our husbands. Also, you are not a doormat because you DO get to speak up respectfully and establish boundaries if your husband is sinning against you. (Matthew 18:15-17)

Second, some wives fear that if they strive for a gentle, quiet spirit that they’re going to have to change their personality! But that’s just not true! You can still be playful, joyful, and flirty with your husband. However, you choose not to yell at him, argue with him about everything, boss him around, and demand your own way all the time. 🙂

God’s strange command to wives

May 27, 2024Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

However, God knows best, and I wonder how your marriage would be impacted if you really sought to revere your husband? Hmmm. Well, first we need to better understand the word “revere”. Webster’s dictionary says revere means to treat with deferential honor or to regard as worthy of great honor. Are you starting to get the picture?