Who would have thunk it? (Yes, I know thunk is not a word). Anyway, I discovered something absolutely fascinating several years ago, and it was confirmed by a young wife at Squadron of Sisters during a subsequent meeting. Husbands can become very stressed, anxious and uneasy when their home is a mess! I had read surveys about this before, but it was really underscored by what a wife shared with our group.
She said her husband started to have pretty severe anxiety problems. She didn’t understand why. He had a good job. She had a good job. Their relationship was going well. So what could be the problem? Well, she attended an SOS meeting where we shared that men really desire a tidy household. So, she went home and created a chore chart with stickers (yes, like parents use with their kids!). She didn’t do all the chores herself. She simply took charge of creating a plan to make sure the house could become tidy and clean.
The result? Within a very short time, her husband’s anxiety completely disappeared! Wow! I guess that Proverbs 31 wife really has it figured out. In verse 27, the Bible describes her as a woman who “looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Coming up with a plan to keep your house tidy and clean can really boost your man’s sanity! P.S. You might find that your anxiety drops a notch or two as well!
Have you lost that “in love” feeling with your husband? Are you feeling like there should be more in your relationship? There could be some major problems in your marriage that need to be addressed. However, it could be that you’ve fallen prey to the notion that your relationship with your husband should resemble the thrill of new romance portrayed in chick flicks and romance novels.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love watching a good romantic movie like The Proposal with Sandra Bullock. I have enjoyed reading Christian romance novels. However…you and I have to be so careful that we don’t start subconsciously thinking our marriages should have that constant thrill of new romance. That’s unrealistic. There is no way we’re going to be “twitterpated” (like Thumper in the Bambi movie) all the time! Also, our husbands couldn’t possibly be as breathtaking as the men portrayed in the romantic comedies or as perfect as the men in the Christian romance novels! It’s all a beautiful delusion from the enemy who wants to destroy your marriage. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 11:14 “Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light“
And here’s one more caution. Did you realize that many romantic comedies actually promote a woman leaving the man she’s with to find the “true soul mate” awaiting her? Yikes! We get so involved with the romance story that we don’t even notice this is the case! Think of Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind. She pines away for the man who’s already married to someone else. In Sleepless In Seattle, Meg Ryan’s character is engaged but feels there must be someone better out there. The list goes on and on. So, let’s be careful to avoid unrealistic expectations of our men and our marriages.
One of the things that will bond you together with your husband is….laughter! When you share a common funny experience, it is very bonding. I still vividly remember an incident several years ago when my husband and I attended a Seattle Seahawks football game. I remember clearly and think back on this incident fondly because we bonded through belly laughter! You see, there was a very vocal young man behind us who was actually quite funny. He wasn’t crude, just extremely loud, and some of the things he yelled tickled our funny bones! My husband and I would look at each other for hours afterward and burst out laughing about one of this guy’s funny comments. When I think of periods in my marriage where my husband and I laughed a lot, those memories bring very warm feelings. Those shared moments of laughter connected me with my husband. Shared laughter is very bonding.
Do you play and laugh and flirt with your husband? Do you try to find humor in daily life? Do you take yourself seriously all the time or can you laugh at your own little mistakes? Proverbs 17:22 says “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” If your marriage feels kind of dried up, perhaps it needs an infusion of laughter. Maybe it’s time to start flirting with your husband like you used to. When is the last time you pinched his tush? Maybe you need to watch some funny TV shows together. My husband and I laughed while watching “The West Wing” on Netflix. Neither one of us had ever watched this show when it first came out. It’s an excellent political drama, but the characters are sometimes so funny! We also watched old episodes of Frasier and laughed out loud together often. Aaaah. Shared laughter. It’s good medicine for your marriage!
My question for you today has to do with the way you kiss your husband!! Do you kiss him in a way that communicates to him that he is wanted and desired? If so, you are a wise woman who is breathing life into her marriage. On the other hand, do you kiss your husband reluctantly or in a passionless way? If so, you could be contributing to the slow death of your marriage.
Your husband needs to feel desired by you. He wants to be your sexual hero. Your response to his kisses tells your man a lot. When you press into the kiss with passion, he feels wanted and becomes a more confident man. The bride in the Song of Songs understood this. She made sure her groom knew how much she loved his kisses. In Song of Songs 1:2 she says “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth for your love is more delightful than wine.”
So, this week I challenge you to kiss your husband deeply, as in more than one second!! Press into the kiss with passion. Not only will this be a blessing to him, but I bet you will reap some benefits as well. As he revels in your love, he will likely be more attentive toward you. 🙂 In fact, you might want to intoxicate him with your love, as the Bible mentions in Proverbs 5:18-19. A husband who is intoxicated with his wife does not stray!