biblical

God’s strange command to wives

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

The Lord gives wives a very misunderstood instruction in the Bible.  It’s a command that can seem kind of strange, to tell the truth!  The Bible instructs wives in Ephesians 5:33 to respect their husbands.  But what does that really mean?  Well, when I looked up the original Greek word for respect, it means “to be in awe of” or “to revere”.  Oh my!  You may love your husband, but I bet you don’t think of treating him like you “revere” him! This seems rather strange, doesn’t it?

However, God knows best, and I wonder how your marriage would be impacted if you really sought to revere your husband?  Hmmm.  Well, first we need to better understand the word “revere”.  Webster’s dictionary says revere means to treat with deferential honor or to regard as worthy of great honor.  Are you starting to get the picture? 

Here’s my challenge to you this week. 😊  Would you be willing to strive to treat your husband as if everything he says is really worth your complete attention?  Yes, this means actually paying attention when he speaks and treating his thoughts, feelings and ideas as very important.  That’s how a person should respond if they think someone is worthy of great honor.  Are you doing this with your husband?  Treating him with honor might mean asking his opinion on how things should run in your family and then actually incorporating his ideas!  Treating him with “awe” might mean taking a few seconds to actually walk over and greet him with a smile and a kiss when he comes home…as if he’s important!

I wonder how your marriage would be impacted if you started showing respect to your husband (whether you FEEL like it or not)?  I have a sneaking suspicion that your guy would stand a little taller, feel more confident, enjoy emotional intimacy with you much more, and maybe even be more courageous in seeking to honor God!

Gaining advice for your marriage

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

If you’re going through some challenges with your husband right now, it’s really wise to seek godly counsel from another woman. Often another woman can see the situation more objectively.  A godly woman can encourage you to persevere through challenges instead of giving up.  Sometimes, another woman can help you see the need to set wise boundaries on unacceptable behavior.   It’s also really wise to reach out to a few godly women who you know will pray for you and your husband.

However, there’s a fine line between seeking godly support and husband-bashing!  Sometimes, we go beyond seeking advice and prayer support and we start gossiping and whining about our husbands.  That’s not constructive and it’s very disrespectful to your husband.  Let’s keep in mind God’s instruction to wives in Ephesians 5:33…”The wife must respect her husband“.

So check your heart before you pick up that phone to whine to a friend.  Check your motives before you start complaining about your husband to another woman. Are you telling dishonoring stories about him in great detail and listing all of his faults…or are you actually looking for guidance and prayer support? Pay attention to the words you’re texting or speaking.  Are they disrespectful or honoring to your husband? 

Courage to set boundaries

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Have you ever caved in when you should have set boundaries in a relationship because of the “what if” questions?  What if he leaves me?  What if he leaves me and I won’t be able to take care of myself?  What if he gets really upset if I confront him?  What if….?

When you find yourself paralyzed with fear because of the “what if” questions, it usually means one of three things.  Either you don’t really trust God when he says in Hebrews 13:5 that he will “never leave you nor forsake you”.  Or it means you have allowed the spirit of fear to dominate your thoughts.  Or it could mean that you have become your own worst enemy and convinced yourself you’ll never be able to set boundaries and stick to them.  In other words, you’ve pummeled yourself with negative self-talk!

You CAN overcome these paralyzing fears.  How about choosing to trust God’s promise to never leave your side (Hebrews 13:5)?  Maybe it’s time to command the spirit of fear to leave you, in the name of Jesus (2 Timothy 1:7).  Perhaps you need to stop telling yourself that you’ll fall to pieces if you respectfully draw a firm boundary. Coach your soul just like King David did throughout the Psalms.  Tell yourself you will not crumble.  Remind yourself you will not fall apart.  Philippians 4:13 says “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.”  With Jesus by your side, you have all you need.  You’re not doing this alone!