Most women wrestle with insecurity, and when we live in a place of insecurity, we often make unhealthy choices. We tend to put up with disrespectful behavior. We tend to look to other people for our value and become codependent in relationships.
Well, I have found that meditating on these 3 Bible verses helps me start to feel more secure and grounded. I become more confident in both my value and the decisions I need to make in life. I begin to relax and feel safe. As a result, I can approach all my relationships in a much healthier way! Here are the 3 verses:
1) He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will (Ephesians 1:5) *you are his adopted daughter! Awesome!!
2) Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you (Hebrews 13:5) *He will always be by your side! Awesome!!
3) You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. (Psalm 73:24) *He will guide me in all my decisions and he is preparing a fantastic future for me in eternity! Awesome!!
You probably think I’m going to give fashion advice, but you would be incorrect. I’m certainly no fashionista! The kind of “clothing” I’m talking about is not material. It’s our attitude, character and behavior. The Bible has a lot to say about how we “clothe” ourselves in that regard!
Colossians 3:18 tells us what we should put on every morning: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Wow! Think about how attractive you would be to your husband (and your children, and your friends, and your mother-in-law and your co-workers) if you were to put on these qualities every morning as you start your day.
Think about it. How would your marriage be changed if you decided to be gentle and humble and kind and compassionate toward your husband? I bet he would truly look forward to coming home to you each night! Even if you need to broach tough subjects with your husband, he will be much more likely to listen if you clothe yourself with humility and gentleness and compassion. Try it. Humility…compassion…gentleness…kindness. These are fashion accessories that never go out of style!
Most women are plagued by insecurity. As a result of our insecurity, we end up putting up with rude, irresponsible or abusive behavior from others. Our insecurity leads up to covet what other women have. Our insecurity prompts us to put other people down so we look better in comparison. When we are drowning in insecurity, we tend to expect a man to be the “answer”. We seek and catch a husband and then expect him to make us feel better about ourselves by constantly telling us that we’re beautiful, desirable, smart, funny, intelligent, etc. However, our husbands are imperfect themselves! They can’t be our source of security.
I believe we would benefit by reading aloud one particular Bible verse every morning. It is a great reminder of how God sees us. It’s a reminder that He loves us and even delights in us! This verse portrays the picture of a loving father tenderly cradling his daughter in his arms. Here is the verse. Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing.” Close your eyes and picture God smiling at you as he holds you. Hear him whispering those words to you. Ah. So good. I feel so much more secure. How about you?
Recently, God has prompted me to consider who is truly on the throne in my life. Am I really putting God at the center of my focus, or is everything actually about me? Drat. I have to be honest and say that when it comes right down to it, I tend to filter everything in my life and my marriage through the question “what will make me happy”. How about you?
What if we changed the question? I am suggesting that we start looking at our husbands, our marriage, our children, our work, and everything through the question “how can I please God at this moment?” I believe this could radically change our relationships. In Matthew 6:33 Jesus reminds us to “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well“. In other words, we should strive to please God in all we do and we can trust Him to meet all our needs in return.
The world tries to convince you to focus on you. The message is “you should focus on what makes you feel happy at the moment and you will be fulfilled.” Unfortunately, this “formula” almost never works. The Bible turns that equation upside down. God tells us to focus on pleasing Him even when it doesn’t seem like you will be happy, and then you will indeed find true fulfillment and joy.
What if you were to ask the Lord to show you how HE wants you to treat your husband this week and how HE wants you to handle difficult situations with your husband? I wonder how your marriage would change? Shall we try God’s upside-down formula this week?
In my current Bible reading, I’ve been struck with how many times God used women to take a bold, courageous, and wise stand against the enemy. There are so many occasions where a woman steps out to lead or help God’s people when the enemy is attacking. Here are some of the examples: Abigail (in 1 Samuel 25) acts wisely when her husband did not. Rahab (Joshua 2) hides God’s people from the enemy. Deborah (Judges 4) courageously leads the people of God into war against the enemy. Esther (Esther 4 & 5) boldly intercedes for God’s people even though it was dangerous for her to do so. The wise woman (2 Samuel 20) reasoned with an enemy who was about to destroy her city and her wisdom saved the city.
What can we learn from these women? They were all very alert to the enemy’s schemes and they all boldly chose to take action against the enemy, trusting in God for the outcome. So here is the question for you: Do you see the enemy attacking your husband, your marriage, your family, or individual children? If you do, are you going to just wring your hands in despair, or are you going to take action? Hopefully, you will become a courageous woman of action! What does God want you to do? Do you need to commit to press into prayer every single day, several times a day? Do you need to boldly confront an issue? Do you need to get wise counsel from a godly woman? Do you need to ask others to pray with you?
I seem to bump into quite a few women who seem to either struggle with discouragement and mild depression or simply feel unfulfilled. When it comes to both these conditions, there aren’t necessarily simple answers, but I do believe taking one particular step could bring significant help. That step is to get outside yourself and begin serving those less fortunate! Yes, really.
This is God’s instruction to us all. In fact, He says in Isaiah 58 that the kind of “fasting” that he desires is not to look all religious by denying yourself food or pleasure. Instead he desires us to “loose the chains of injustice…to share your food with the hungry…to provide the poor wanderer with shelter. He says “then your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear” (Isaiah 58:8)
Is it time to stop focusing on what’s wrong with your circumstances and to look for opportunities to serve those in need all around you? I can almost guarantee that you WILL become more fulfilled when you begin helping others. Try it!
It is so incredibly easy to get out of balance as a wife, a mother, an employee, a ministry leader, a homemaker, a boss, etc. We can let our “roles” consume us. We compare ourselves to other women in those roles and feel we’re somehow lacking. Then we start picking up self-help books, we google “how to become a better __________”, we attend classes and workshops, we beat ourselves up for not being as “good” as other women, we relentlessly push ourselves to be better! And the whole time, we push our relationship with God farther and farther away. I mean, who even has time for God when we are completely focused on being the best ___________.
Sometimes we need to pull back and refocus our attention and adoration on God. We need to readjust our heart posture. We need to go back to square one and spend time worshiping the creator of the universe…the one who created you! Colossians 3:1-2 says “Since then you have been raised with Christ, set your heart on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.”
I find when I spend time worshiping God and spending some quiet moments just sitting with Him, I gain a whole new perspective on what’s important. I am better able to choose how to use my limited time and energy. I don’t feel so driven to compete with the other wives and moms and ministry leaders. Spend 10 minutes every day this week simply worshiping God. Crank up the worship music if that helps. As you focus on the majesty and love of Christ, you will develop a heart posture that brings balance….and peace.