become

Key to being a strong, confident woman

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Do you wish you could be a more courageous woman, a more secure woman, a more confident woman, and a woman who is able to stand strong under pressure or hardship?  I think I’ve found the answer.  We must go beyond just accepting Christ as our Savior, and truly decide to make Christ our Lord!

When I think about the ladies I know who are strong, confident and unshakeable Christian women, they all have something in common.  They have made the courageous decision to surrender their lives to Jesus and they’ve truly committed to following him as the leader and master of their lives.  This is, in fact, what the Bible calls us to do in Romans 10:9…If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  It’s important to note that this Bible verse tells us to declare Jesus as “Lord”, which means “master” in the original Greek.

Have you truly made Jesus your master?  Maybe that’s the missing piece in your life.  I can tell you from personal experience that once you truly make a heart decision to make Jesus your Lord and master, all His promises to love you, comfort you, and counsel you start to come alive in your spirit.  You begin to realize that you can trust his leadership 100%.  Once that happens, you’ll find yourself strong, confident and unshakeable!

Learning to wait…patiently!

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Are you in a waiting phase?  Maybe you’re waiting for God to answer your prayer regarding your husband.  Maybe you’re waiting for your rebellious child, stubborn child to finally become mature.  Maybe you’re waiting for your heart to heal after being betrayed by your husband.  Whatever the thing you’re waiting for, I think we can all agree that waiting is hard!  It’s hard because we have to be patient, and let’s be honest; most of us aren’t very good with the whole patience virtue.  These two realizations have helped me learn to be a bit more patient when I have to wait. 

1)  God’s timing is often very different than what I think it should be, yet He is always faithful to show up.  Psalm 40:1-2  “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth…” 

2)  Some of the great women of the Bible had to wait and wait and wait before finally experiencing a HUGE answer to their prayers.  Sarah, Rebekah, Hannah, Rachel, and more all had to wait ridiculously long periods of time before God finally allowed them to give birth.  But when their prayers were finally answered, oh my!  They gave birth to some of the giants of the Bible:  Isaac, Jacob, Samuel, Joseph.  In other words, what they experienced in the end was well worth the wait. 🙂

Becoming a confident wife

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Do you lack confidence in handling disrespectful or sinful behavior by your husband (or boyfriend)?  If so, there are some common reasons.  Perhaps you avoid conflict because you grew up in a home filled with rage and verbal abuse.  Maybe you’re so insecure about your own worth that you can’t stand up for yourself if your husband is treating your poorly.  However, you need to recognize this truth.  If you remain insecure and scared of confrontation, it’s likely nothing will ever change in your marriage.  You’ll keep getting what you’re getting right now.

There is a solution.  First, ask God to give you courage to confront any sinful behavior in your marriage.  He will be glad to answer that prayer! Throughout the Bible, God continually tells his people to be strong and courageous.  In fact in Joshua 1:9, God says “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Helpful hint:  When I need courage, I ask God’s Holy Spirit to be the one who actually does the confrontation.  I ask Him to simply use me as his mouthpiece.

If insecurity is the issue for you, then ask God to reveal your true worth and identity in His eyes.  Meditating on what God says in Zephaniah 3:17 is a good place to start.  He says, “The Lord your God is with you.  He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you.  He will quiet you with His love.  He will rejoice over you with singing.”  In addition, take a moment to close your eyes and ask God to speak one word into your mind about how He views you.  You will likely be amazed at the loving, encouraging word He has for you.  You may hear the word “beautiful” or “chosen” or “adorable” or “strong”….

How to defeat the demon of insecurity

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Virtually every woman wrestles with the persistent and often debilitating problem called insecurity.  It can start so early in life as a 5 or 6 year old girl hears the neighbor girl described as beautiful, while nothing at all is said about her.  It can develop when other kids easily bring home straight A’s in middle school, but you struggle to maintain a B average.  It can suck the life out of you when no one asks you to the sophomore dance or senior prom, and you start telling yourself that you’re ugly and no one wants you.

What I’ve learned over the years is that the enemy is often the one whispering discouragement and ugly lies into our minds, and we end up quietly repeating those lies over and over again until we sink into a pit of despair!  Enough of that!

We can begin to defeat the demon of insecurity when we start coaching our souls with the truth.  The truth is found in the Bible and what God says about us.  Did you know in Romans 9:25, God says “Her who was not beloved, I will call beloved”?  Wow!  That rocks my boat!  How about you? God says you are his beloved.  That word is a healing balm to my wounded heart.  That word “beloved” means God cherishes me and dearly loves me.  Yes!!  I needed to hear that.

God also tells us in Hebrews 13:5 that “I will never leave you nor forsake you”.  That means that no matter what crazy or oppressive circumstance I’m in, God will never leave my side. He is with me through all struggles and trials.  Yes!  I needed to hear that too!

Don’t listen to the voice of the enemy, and for heaven’s sake, don’t repeat his lies! Start coaching your soul with truth from God’s Word.  That’s when you’ll triumph over the devil’s plans to oppress you and begin to truly flourish as a woman of confidence!

Help husband become spiritual leader

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Many women lament the fact that their husbands won’t pray with them and their husbands aren’t really the spiritual leader….but, here’s something I’ve observed over the years that may shed some light on your predicament.  If you want your husband to become the spiritual leader of your family, you have to stop being the leader yourself!  Sometimes women, including myself, can be so eager to bring spiritual disciplines into our family life that we leave no gap for the husband to fill.  Perhaps this is why God repeatedly instructs wives to be submissive!  Titus 2:5 tells women to be “self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands”. 

In other words, instead of you jumping in and praying for the kids when they get tucked into bed at night, you could ask your husband for his help with that.  If you would like the Bible to be read aloud after dinner, tell your husband you love the sound of his voice when he reads and ask him if he would read the Bible.  After he has read the Bible passage, ask him what he thinks God is saying…and then listen attentively to his answer.  When you’re not feeling well, you could tell him it would mean the world to you if he were to just lay a hand on your shoulder and say a simple prayer.  Even a one-sentence prayer is fine.  And when he does any of these things, be encouraging and thankful!  Build him up.

When a woman takes over any area of leadership, many men will simply back off.  So, if you want your husband to become the spiritual leader of your home, you need to allow there to be a bit of a void in that area. Then ask him for his help.  🙂

If husband isn’t following Christ

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Being married to an unbeliever can be frustrating and discouraging.  You’re pulling one way.  He’s pulling another.  You make decisions based on your faith and trust in God.  He thinks only of himself. Ugh.

There is hope, but your situation may not change overnight.  The key is persistent prayer. One wife, whom I know quite well, prayed earnestly for about 15 years before her husband finally came to Christ.  It was discouraging at times, but she kept believing that God would answer her prayer, and He did.  It just took time (15 years!) for God to soften her husband’s heart.

May I suggest that you pray Ezekiel 36:26-27 every day for your husband, inserting his name in the verse?  The verse talks about God turning a heart of stone into a heart of flesh.  In other words, God can soften hard hearts!  Here is how you might want to pray this verse:  “Jesus, give (insert your husband’s name) a new heart and put a new spirit in him. Jesus, remove (insert name)’s heart of stone and give him a heart of flesh.  Jesus, put your Spirit in (insert name) and move him to follow your decrees and be careful to keep your laws.”

Also, to encourage yourself to keep diligently praying and trusting God, you may want to read the parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18.

Becoming a secure, confident woman

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

Most women wrestle with insecurity, and when we live in a place of insecurity, we often make unhealthy choices.  We tend to put up with disrespectful behavior.  We tend to look to other people for our value and become codependent in relationships.  We neurotically try to get our husbands to make us feel secure and happy, but they inevitably fall short, and then we find ourselves back in the pit of insecurity.

Well, I have found that meditating on these 3 Bible verses helps me start to feel more secure and grounded.  I become more confident in both my value and the decisions I need to make in life.  I begin to relax and feel safe.  As a result, I can approach all my relationships in a much healthier way!  Here are the 3 verses:

1) He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will (Ephesians 1:5) *you are his adopted daughter!  Awesome!!

2)  Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you (Hebrews 13:5) *He will always be by your side! Awesome!!

3) You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. (Psalm 73:24)  *He will guide me in all my decisions and he is preparing a fantastic future for me in eternity! Awesome!!

How to gain deep joy & fulfillment

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I seem to bump into quite a few women who seem to either struggle with discouragement and mild depression or simply feel unfulfilled.  When it comes to both these conditions, there aren’t necessarily simple answers, but I do believe taking one particular step could bring significant help.  That step is to get outside yourself and begin serving those less fortunate!  Yes, really.

This is God’s instruction to us all.  In fact, He says in Isaiah 58 that the kind of “fasting” that he desires is not to look all religious by denying yourself food or pleasure.  Instead he desires us to “loose the chains of injustice…to share your food with the hungry…to provide the poor wanderer with shelter. He says “then your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear” (Isaiah 58:8)

Is it time to stop focusing on what’s wrong with your circumstances and to look for opportunities to serve those in need all around you?  I can almost guarantee that you WILL become more fulfilled when you begin helping others.  Try it!

Create a sense of team in marriage

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

99% of wives would like to feel more emotional intimacy and connection with their husbands, but often a husband and wife end up drifting apart as the years of marriage pass by.  This is especially true when children come on the scene.  You get super busy and absorbed with the kids and your husband feels unimportant, unvalued, and un-needed.

However, there is one simple step you can take to begin changing that dynamic.  Start asking your husband for his opinion!  Ask him his thoughts on the right number of activities for the kids.  Ask him his thoughts on how to best arrange the living room furniture.  Ask his opinion on what is most important to him in terms of cleaning and tidying the house.  (You might be surprised that most men would prefer you focus on keeping the home tidy rather than clean).

By asking your husband for his opinion, you’re communicating that he matters.  You’re communicating that he is a needed and valued team member.  You’re communicating that he is respected by you!  He needs that respect.  He’s wired to crave your respect.  That’s why God gave a clear instruction to wives in Ephesians 5:33.  It simply says “The wife must respect her husband.”  So, start respecting your husband by asking his opinion and truly considering his thoughts and desires.  You will find that he likes being around you more, and you will develop a powerful sense of “team” in your marriage.

Become a mature Christian wife

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

We all want to be viewed as mature, but how does a wife actually go about becoming mature?    The Bible gives us some hints.  In short, the Bible indicates that maturity comes from persevering, from disciplining yourself to discern between good and evil choices, from speaking the truth in love, and by receiving wisdom from the Word of God.

Here are the verses that reveal these 4 means of becoming mature.  James 1:4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  Hebrews 5:14 But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.  Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.  Colossians 1:28 He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ.

By the way, the very best way for you to receive wisdom is by spending time reading God’s Word!  By that, I don’t mean simply reading one verse per day from a daily devotional.  I mean reading ALL of God’s Word.  It might take you two years to make your way all the way through it, but it will be totally worth it.  You will find so much of value along the journey 🙂