Become your husband’s crown!

Proverbs 12:4 says “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.”  Hmmm.  Which kind of wife are you?  Which kind of wife have I been?

A crown sparkles and reflects light in a beautiful way.  Are you a lovely reflection for your husband in all you say and do?  Think about it.  The way you pray for your husband, the way you encourage him and help him, the way you take care of his home, the way you conduct yourself in public, even the way you respectfully confront any wrong behavior…all these things become like a crown to him.  A crown is seen by others and causes others to treat that person with respect, honor, and admiration.

In contrast, a wife who demeans her husband, complains about her husband, doesn’t take care of herself or her home, enables sinful behavior by refusing to confront, and withholds physical affection….she becomes like rot in his bones.  A person with rotten bones becomes stooped over and can’t carry his load anymore.  He is crippled.

Let’s be the kind of wives who don’t cripple our men, but who so esteem them and help them that they become even mightier men of God.  Then we will indeed become beautiful crowns!  🙂

Staying attractive to husband

Here are three things I learned over my years of marriage to Raul about becoming a beautiful wife in the eyes of my husband, regardless of the aging process.

1)  Put effort into looking your best for your husband, just like you did when you were dating him!  There are many healthy decisions you must choose to make on a daily basis so that you can look your best.  For instance, build into your schedule a 30 minute walking or bike-riding time perhaps 4 days a week.  Even if you have young children, there is a way to make this work. Put the kids in a stroller or have them ride their bike with you.

2) Shed insecurity and choose to have a confident attitude about your appearance and value.  My husband told me several times that a woman’s confidence is VERY attractive to men.  Flirt with your husband.  Give him some playful, sexy, sass!  He will find that quite attractive, whether or not you have a poofy abdomen following childbirth or wrinkles on your face!

3) Embrace 1 Peter 3:4 which tells wives their beauty comes from a “gentle and quiet spirit”.  When I asked my husband what this verse means, he said it means that a wife is FOR her husband and not fighting him every step of the way.  It means she interacts with her husband in a peaceful way and treats her husband with respect, even if she needs to confront him about a problem behavior.

Every wife wants to remain beautiful to her husband.  So, ask God to grow you in self-control, confidence, peacefulness, and respect for your man.

Is your clothing attractive?

You probably think I’m going to give fashion advice, but you would be incorrect.  I’m certainly no fashionista!  The kind of “clothing” I’m talking about is not material.  It’s our attitude, character and behavior.  The Bible has a lot to say about how we “clothe” ourselves in that regard!

Colossians 3:18 tells us what we should put on every morning:  “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”  Wow! Think about how attractive you would be to your husband (and your children, and your friends, and your mother-in-law and your co-workers) if you were to put on these qualities every morning as you start your day. 

Think about it.  How would your marriage be changed if you decided to be gentle and humble and kind and compassionate toward your husband?  I bet he would truly look forward to coming home to you each night!  Even if you need to broach tough subjects with your husband, he will be much more likely to listen if you clothe yourself with humility and gentleness and compassion.   Try it.  Humility…compassion…gentleness…kindness.  These are fashion accessories that never go out of style!

How a wife stays attractive to him

When men are surveyed about what makes a woman attractive, other than classically beautiful features, a strong majority say….her confidence!  So, if you want to be attractive to your husband (or to your boyfriend), work at developing confidence.  Work at becoming secure. 

I believe you do this by spending time meditating on God’s love for you!  He loves you so much he actually adopted you as his beloved child!  He is your Papa!  Meditate on this Scripture from Galatians 4:  “But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.”  So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.”

The second quality that is extremely attractive is…humility.  Most men run from a woman who is self-righteous and judgmental.  A husband is repelled by a wife who conveys that she thinks she’s better than him!  However, a husband’s heart is drawn to a wife who is humble, kind and compassionate. The Bible instructs us to be this kind of person!  Colossians 3:12 says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

P.S  Yes, you can carry yourself with confidence, while at the same time displaying humility!  This means having self-respect and dignity, but refusing to act like you’re superior to your guy.