How to pick your battles

You’ve probably heard the saying, “If mom ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Although the primary message of this saying is that mom’s attitude affects the whole family, I think a secondary message is just as significant.  If a wife conveys to her husband through her constant complaints and criticisms that she’s not happy, her husband begins to feel like a failure and starts to close his heart to her.

Unfortunately, many wives get stuck in this dynamic.  We tend to point out one disappointment after another to our husbands.  We remind him that we notice he forgot to take out the garbage.  We point out that he hasn’t communicated in our love language recently.  We remind him that he hasn’t played with the kids in a while.  In short, we can’t seem to resist pointing out his flaws.  Adding insult to injury, we then get really upset that he seems emotionally withdrawn from us!

Perhaps it’s time to pick our battles more carefully.  Maybe we should let the small stuff slide.  Proverbs 12:16 says, “Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.”  Let’s ask God to help us affirm what our husbands do right, overlook the small imperfections, and only confront our husbands if they are truly sinning against us and/or the children. EVERYBODY in the family will be happier!

Take authority against the devil

We have an enemy.  1 Peter 5:8 says “Be alert and sober-minded. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”  The devil and his demons are looking for ways to destroy your marriage, destroy you, destroy your husband and destroy your children.  However, there is good news if you have asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior!  In 1 John 4:4, God says “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”   We just need to take authority against the enemy.  So often, we forget to do that!

Ladies, we have a critical role to play in spiritual warfare.  One of the first things we need to do is be alert to those moments when the devil is goading us to be critical, rude, grouchy or disrespectful to others.  Don’t take the bait!!  Realize the enemy wants to destroy your relationships!  In those moments, I picture the devil is sitting on my shoulder whispering in my ear all his vile temptations for me to give in to my temper or toxic resentment.  Then I literally take my hand and (pretend) knock him off my shoulder with a loud shout of “BAM”!! 

If you’re married, a second thing you need to do is to pray EVERY DAY for God to protect your husband, to purify your husband’s heart, to give your husband boldness to take a stand for the Lord.   You also need to take a stand against the enemy….every day.  Jesus makes it clear that we do get to take authority in the invisible, spiritual realm.  Jesus tells his followers in Luke 10:19, “I give you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.”   So, in Jesus’ name, command all evil spirits to leave your husband, your children, your home, and yourself.  Then, ask God to fill you and your loved ones each day with His Holy Spirit.  

Let’s all agree to take bold authority against the enemy, and let’s commit to doing this on a daily basis.

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