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3 ways to fall back in love!

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

It’s so easy for a married couple to become more like roommates than lovers!  Once the excitement of the wedding and honeymoon fade away, the everyday stresses like finances, children, housework, etc. can start to suck that warm and fuzzy feeling right out of your marriage!  Well, here are 3 things that will help to rekindle that loving feeling:

1)  Start to do the things you used to do when you were dating.  In the Bible’s book of Revelation, chapter 2, the church in Ephesus received this rebuke, “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.”   That church needed to get back to doing the things that kept them in close fellowship with Christ, and we need to do the same things in our marriage.  Did you go to the movies?  Did you go out to dinner once a week? Did you go snowboarding in the winter or hiking in the summer?  Then, carve out some time to have that kind of fun with your husband now! 

2)  Kiss your husband with passion (like you used to)!  Seriously.  Give it a try and see if some sparks start to fly.

3)  List at least 7 good things about your husband.  Philippians 4:8 says “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”     So, think of as many positive things about your husband as you can.  Write them down.  Look at that list every day.  As you do so, your heart will become warmer toward him.

Is hubby better than you thought?

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

I remember being convicted several years ago when I overheard my late husband Raul tell some other men that he sometimes does things for me that he doesn’t feel like doing…just because he knows I will appreciate it.  This was news to me!  I hadn’t thought about it that way.  I thought he WANTED to do those things!  For instance, for years, Raul gave my feet a little massage every night before I went to sleep.  I thought he enjoyed doing that!  He also ran ALL the errands that needed to be done for us.  I thought he liked to run errands!  He also made sure there was always a fresh toilet paper roll waiting for me in the bathroom just in case the current one ran out.  Nice! 

Here’s the thing.  We often take for granted our husbands.  Could it be that your husband is doing things he doesn’t really want to do just to please you?  Could he be acting selflessly, and you just didn’t realize it?  Is he more noble than you thought?  Hmmm.  Could your husband be doing kind things for you that you didn’t even realize were a sacrifice for him? For instance….if he comes home from work exhausted and yet takes time to play with the kids or help you with some chores, that’s something to truly appreciate! Think about it and ask God to show you ways that your husband may be more noble than you thought.

Bottom line:  Maybe your husband is really doing a pretty good job fulfilling God’s command to husbands in Ephesians 5:25 where he tells men to “love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”.   The question is: How are YOU doing in fulfilling God’s command to wives in Ephesians 5:33 where he tells women “the wife must respect her husband”?

4 keys to bouncing back

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

When I was little, there was a popular and fun toy called a Bozo the Clown Bop Bag.  It was a 4 foot tall inflatable Bozo the clown that had weight at the bottom of the bag so that when you punched it, it fell over but then it bounced back upright.

Now that I have decades of experience under my belt, I see quite an analogy between that bop bag and our walk with the Lord.  We ARE the bop bag!   Satan throws the punches.  But if we are smart, we’ve developed such a strong relationship with Jesus that he becomes the weight at the bottom of the bag that helps us pop back up after Satan has thrown a big punch!

Here are 4 big keys to having enough weight at the bottom of your bop bag so that you can bounce back up after adversity or heartbreak:

  1. Remind yourself that God loves you and will bring something good out of every challenging situation.  Romans 8:28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
  2. Remind yourself that you are never alone, and that God has promised to stay by your side through all difficulties, fears and heartbreaks.  Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
  3. Train yourself to pivot from self-focus to kingdom focus.  In other words, if I focus on how I am disappointed, sad, hurt, fearful, rejected, etc…then I will stay stuck in self-pity and depression.  But if I remember that there are more important things than me, such as blessing others, pointing others to Christ and expanding God’s kingdom…then I will begin to find renewed purpose, fulfillment, and joy.  Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
  4. Ask God if there are any dysfunctional or unhelpful patterns that you need to change so that you don’t keep falling into the same pit of despair or keep banging your head against the wall for no good reason!!  Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.

3 ways to fall back in-love

Squadron of Sisters (Debbie Chavez) Leave a comment

It’s so easy for a married couple to become more like roommates than lovers!  Once the excitement of the wedding and honeymoon fade away, the everyday stresses like finances, children, housework, etc. can start to suck that warm and fuzzy feeling right out of your marriage!  Well, here are 3 things that will help to rekindle that loving feeling:

1)  Start to do the things you used to do when you were dating.  In the Bible’s book of Revelation, chapter 2, the church in Ephesus received this rebuke, “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.”   That church needed to get back to doing the things that kept them in close fellowship with Christ, and we need to do the same things in our marriage.  Did you go to the movies?  Did you go out to dinner once a week? Did you go snowboarding in the winter or hiking in the summer?  Then, carve out some time to have that kind of fun with your husband now! 

2)  Kiss your husband with passion (like you used to)!  Seriously.  Give it a try and see if some sparks start to fly.

3)  List at least 7 good things about your husband.  Philippians 4:8 says “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”     So, think of as many positive things about your husband as you can.  Write them down.  Look at that list every day.  As you do so, your heart will become warmer toward him.