Being taken for granted

I’ve noticed something, both in my marriage to my late husband Raul and my current husband Mark.  I tend to take their small kindnesses and hard work for granted!  I don’t mean to do that.  I don’t intentionally do that, but God has made me aware that I do indeed take my husband for granted instead of noticing and appreciating the little and big things he does.

For instance, for about 10 years, starting on our wedding night, my late husband Raul massaged my feet every single night right before I went to sleep.  I started to take that kindness for granted.  In fact, I remember asking him perhaps 2 or 3 years after we were married, “Why do you like massaging my feet?”  His answer was so interesting.  He said, “I don’t like to do it.  I do it to show my love for you.”  Oh!!  In my pea brain, I thought he did it because he wanted to.  But he did it because he was sacrificing his own interests to be a blessing to me!

Fast forward to my current husband Mark.  He often leaves me little love notes tucked under my computer or in a kitchen drawer or under my jewelry box.  Does he take the time to do that because he likes to do that?  I don’t think so.  He does those little things because he knows I enjoy romance. 

My point is this.  We often take for granted those little, kind acts and even the big things our husbands do.  We don’t stop to think that maybe they are sacrificing what they want to do to do things that make us happy or display love to us.  When your husband works hard for the family, stop taking that for granted!  When he brings you a cup of coffee, don’t take that for granted. No one likes to be taken for granted.  Instead, notice what your husband does for you and be thankful!  Gratitude is nourishing for your marriage, but it also pleases God.  1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

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Being appreciated for all you do!

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get in a poopy mood (yes, I just used the highly technical term “poopy”!). During my marriage to my late husband Raul, I would get in this grumpy mood when I did something sacrificial for my husband and he didn’t even seem to notice! For instance, even though both my husband and I worked full-time in ministry, I decided that, for a while, I would do all the household cleaning chores so that my husband would be freed up to serve God even more. I did this for a several-month stretch one year.


Did I enjoy vacuuming, dusting, cleaning toilets? No, I did not. Did I sometimes feel grumpy when I cleaned the house after already working a full day? Yes, I did. But then I thought, “well, at least my husband will sing my praises when he gets home and notices all I’ve done”. However, even though I subtly pointed out to him what I had done, much to my shock, sometimes he didn’t say anything at all. What!?!


It’s at that time that God graciously reminded me that He noticed all I had done, and He was pleased. I know that God was pleased whenever I served my husband because God instructs us in Matthew 9:35 that “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”
God always notices what we’re doing even when no one else sees it! In Matthew 6:4, the Bible reminds us that “your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” Let’s take heart that we are pleasing the “right” man when we serve our others sacrificially. That right man is Jesus.