How respect affects your husband

Have you ever had this thought…”I don’t respect my husband”?  Honestly, I had that thought quite often in my first marriage, and because I didn’t FEEL respect, I didn’t ACT particularly respectful.  Unfortunately, I just went with how I felt.  I rolled my eyes at his ideas.  I took control of most everything in our family because I didn’t think he was capable.  I corrected him a lot.  And…..after quite a few years, he turned to other women for validation.

I learned many lessons after that failed marriage.  One of them is that a man desperately needs the respect of his wife.  He needs to know that she believes in him and is FOR him.  Now, this doesn’t mean she is supposed to ignore destructive and sinful choices in his life.  No, she needs to gently, but firmly, confront him if he is caught in a pattern of sin.  But, even then, she can be loving and kind and respectful!

In my 2nd marriage to Raul, I began pressing into this Biblical command (Ephesians 5:33) for wives to respect their husbands.  And oh my, what a difference it made!  He told me many times that he wouldn’t be able to tackle the things he was doing in life and for God if it weren’t for me being FOR him.  In fact, he often got tears in his eyes when I treated him respectfully because it was a new thing for him as well…and he desperately craved my respect.  All men do.  Try it and see what happens in your marriage.  Have you already tried it?  How has it impacted your marriage?

God’s big instruction for wives

Here’s something to ponder.  The Bible instructs wives in Ephesians 5:33 to respect their husbands.  But what does that really mean?  Well, when I looked up the original Greek word for respect, it means “to be in awe of” or “to revere”.  Oh my!  I love my husband, but I confess I don’t usually treat him as if I “revere” him!

I wonder how my marriage would be impacted if I really sought to revere my husband?  Hmmm.  Well, first we need to better understand the word “revere”.  Webster’s dictionary says revere means to treat with deferential honor or regard as worthy of great honor.  Ok, I’m starting to get the picture. 

Here’s how I’m going to try to press into this Bible instruction this week.  I am going to strive to treat my husband as if everything he says is really worth my complete attention.  Yes, I’m going to actually pay attention when he speaks and treat his thoughts, feelings and ideas as very important.  That’s how a person should respond if they think someone is worthy of great honor.   Are you doing this with your husband?

I wonder how your marriage and my marriage would be impacted if we started showing respect to our husbands (whether we FEEL like it or not)?  I have a sneaking suspicion that our men would stand a little taller, feel more confident, enjoy emotional intimacy with us much more, and maybe even be more courageous in seeking to honor God!