Tip # 1: If you find yourself disappointed with your husband, ask yourself this question: Is he sinning against me or am I just disappointed with him? If he is actually sinning against you (looking at porn, being abusive, drinking excessively, etc), then consult with God and perhaps a godly mentor to determine if you should lovingly, respectfully, and firmly confront your husband and establish boundaries, using the Biblical model laid out in Matthew 18:15-17.
However, if you’re simply disappointed with your husband because he’s not meeting your expectations, then try these two things:
Tip # 2: Simply and clearly let him know what you desire….because he is not a mind-reader! It’s so funny how we expect our husbands to meet all our needs and desires because “he should just know”. Lol Well, guess what? He doesn’t “just know”. Sometimes, you need to actually tell him what you’re hoping for and what your expectations are. Be specific. Don’t drop hints. Clearly tell him what you need or desire.
Tip # 3: If he still doesn’t fulfill your desires and expectations, take a moment and remind yourself that he can’t be perfect, and he can’t perfectly meet all your needs! Now, if someone were to ask us if we expect our husbands to be perfect, we would answer “of course not!”, and yet, at a subconscious level, most of us DO expect our men to be perfect. We pretty much expect them to be Jesus! It’s time to let them off that hook. After all, God makes it clear in Psalm 53 “there is no one who does good, not even one”.
So, maybe it’s time you stop expecting your man to be perfect in every way. How about, instead, you decide to be thankful for the good things about him? In fact, every time I started to get disappointed with my own husband in years past, I learned to stop and begin to list the things that he was doing right. This is what my new internal dialogue sounded like: “He works hard to provide for me. He doesn’t get drunk or do drugs. He has stopped looking at porn. He reads the Bible every day. Wow! I’m not so disappointed anymore! I’m actually kind of thankful for him!”
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One thought on “3 tips for the disappointed wife”
Thank you for your message. I look forward to seeing what you have to say. You’re so spot on in your messages. Keep up the great work. I hope your marriage went well. I met you in willits, CA back in January 2023 and before. You are really a very special person.