Isn’t it so very easy to see your husband’s faults? Isn’t it super simple to see the wrongs of your mother-in-law or your co-worker? Yep. I can clearly see another person’s sin, but rarely do I take an honest look at my own shortcomings!
In a marriage, this tendency to only see another’s sin can be deadly. If you allow yourself to focus on your spouse’s failures or flaws, you will start becoming resentful, depressed, discouraged and hopeless. Don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean a wife shouldn’t ask for changes if her husband is sinning against her. She may indeed need to set firm boundaries. However, this DOES mean that she should also take a serious look at her own behavior!
My husband and I have met with many couples over the years and, tragically, we’ve seen far too many wives eagerly point out their husband’s shortcomings while failing to seriously acknowledge their own flaws. Many wives will say the words “Oh, I know I’m not perfect either”, but then their next 10 sentences are filled with complaints about their husband. There is rarely a serious inventory of their own shortcomings or ways in which they may have contributed to problems in the marriage.
Let’s do better! Let’s stop blame-shifting. Yes, we often engage in blame-shifting, which means we blame someone else for our own wrong behavior! For instance, a wife will blame her husband’s flaws for why she became disrespectful or why she rudely refused to talk to him at all, treating him as if he was invisible and worthless.
Ladies, let’s ask God to show us our own faults and weaknesses so that we can change for the better. Let’s stop shifting the blame for our own unkind or sinful behavior. Not only will your husband appreciate this new humility and honesty, but you will likely thrive as well! Proverbs 28:13 puts it this way: Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
P.S. Yes, I know that husbands also can engage in blame-shifting, but for the purposes of this devotional, I’m writing to wives!