How many times have you muttered to yourself “He should just KNOW!”. Most wives have muttered this time and time again. I know I have, and just the other day, my husband and I were counseling a couple where this communication pitfall rose to the surface so clearly. She needed her husband to romance her a little before physical intimacy and he had no clue! She started getting resentful. He most definitely felt her cold shoulder, but was oblivious to the problem!!
Expecting your husband to know what you want and need without clearly telling him…is a common communication pitfall. Unfortunately, your husband doesn’t just “know” because he doesn’t think like a woman and most men have no idea what a woman wants or needs from her husband. We can’t assume our husbands know what we want!
Avoiding this communication pitfall is so easy. As a wife, clearly, concisely, and directly tell your husband what you want. Clearly tell him what you need. Let him know the specifics as well! Let me give a simple example. Let’s say you have company coming over and the house is a mess. Plus, you’re trying to make a dessert to serve. So, you’re feeling stressed. Meanwhile, your husband is oblivious to your inner turmoil. He’s contentedly watching ESPN. In most cases, the wife would finally say “Hey, can you vacuum the house please?”. To which the husband says, “sure” and continues watching ESPN. At this point, the wife blows a gasket in frustration. Here’s the thing. She didn’t give him the details of what she was asking for. Instead of simply asking, “Can you vacuum?”, she needed to say “Can you vacuum right now?” She needed to clearly spell out what she was asking for and when.
Clear, honest communication is a gift to your husband! It reminds me of Proverbs 24:26 An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.