Yesterday, we examined what constitutes physical abuse within a marriage. Today, let’s explore something much more subtle and overlooked…verbal and emotional abuse. Once again, I strongly urge women to take a stand against abuse of any kind. Keep in mind, you are showing your children (especially your daughters) that either women are supposed to be weak, helpless, perpetual victims or that women can be confident and strong while still displaying love and kindness.
After doing much research, here’s a fairly comprehensive list of behavior that constitutes verbal or emotional abuse: Frequently calling you obscene names, often yelling in rage, a pattern of constantly criticizing you and putting you down, prolonged periods of refusing to talk to you at all, pattern of ridiculing or making fun of you, pattern of mocking you or mean-spirited sarcasm, verbal threats of violence, intimidation through displaying knives or guns, constantly accusing you of wrongdoing, forbidding you to talk to parents or siblings, preventing you from leaving the house, refusing to allow you to talk on the phone, forbidding you from speaking to friends or neighbors.
Again, I urge you to take a stand against this kind of abuse. You are a valuable woman. You are God’s daughter and precious in His sight. Don’t allow yourself to be emotionally pummeled. You will slowly be destroyed. That is NOT God’s plan for you. Yes, the Christian wife is supposed to submit to her husband’s leadership, but husbands are told by God in Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.” Also, God instructs us to guard our hearts in Proverbs 4:23….”Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life“. If you are suffering this kind of abuse, please talk to your pastor, pastor’s wife, or a certified counselor. Your husband may be upset, but you must protect your heart. By the way, if you fear for your physical safety as a result of revealing the emotional abuse, then take protective measures such as moving to a friend’s home or a domestic violence shelter while you work through the issues with your husband.