What to do if your husband is viewing porn

I am filled with righteous indignation today, and frankly, I’m on the war path!  I keep on discovering more and more marriages that are slowly being destroyed due to pornography. The stories women tell me often reveal very similar downward spirals. Their husband’s use of porn has evolved into online sex chat rooms, actual encounters with other women, or even sex crimes.  Then there’s a whole other group of women who feel unloved because their husbands rarely, if ever, want to make love to them anymore.  The reason?  Their husbands are busy satisfying their sexual needs with pornography and masturbation.

I say ENOUGH!  It’s time that women everywhere step up with courage and dignity and declare war on pornography!  Ephesians 5, verse 3 says “among you there must not even be hint of sexual immorality” and in verse 11, God instructs us “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.”   It’s time that all women adopt a zero tolerance standard for pornography use by their men (and themselves as well). I’m NOT saying to declare war on your husband. He is not the enemy.  However, we can no longer wring our hands in defeat and stand by helplessly as our marriages and families crumble.

What should you do if your husband is viewing pornography?  Respectfully, but firmly, tell him you will not tolerate that anymore.  Ask him if he’s willing to do whatever it takes to stop.  If he says yes, then work with him to find help.  There are some great programs out there.  For instance, in the Bellingham, WA area, men are being helped at Band of Brothers For Christ and another group called Prodigals.  If your husband refuses to sincerely seek help or continues looking at porn, then you may have to establish a firm boundary in the relationship.  You may even have to separate for a time.  Take a stand, ladies!  If you don’t, you and your marriage will likely end up being destroyed.

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