When a husband is clearly sinning against you through something like verbal abuse or an affair with another woman, it seems pretty clear that you should take a stand, draw boundaries, and maybe even have a time of separation. However, the Christian wife isn’t always as certain about how to handle a husband who simply seems to be selfish. This is the kind of husband who almost always does exactly what he wants to do, when he wants to do it, with little regard for the desires of his wife or children. What’s a wife to do?
First, realize that your husband’s selfishness is not okay with God, and thus, it shouldn’t be okay with you. In the famous love passage in 1 Corinthians 13, the Bible says love is not “self-seeking“, and in Philippians 2:4, the Bible says “each of you should look not only to his own interests but also to the interest of others.”
Second, you must realize that nothing is likely to change unless you sit down with your husband and bring the problem to his attention. It’s time to gently and calmly tell your husband the truth about how you are being negatively impacted by his focus on doing what he wants without regard to your wishes. Ephesians 4:15 says we should “speak the truth in love“, so gently explain the problem. Then directly ask him if he is willing to begin considering your desires when the two of you don’t agree on something. Ask him if he is willing to work with you to forge a compromise the next time you disagree. Hopefully, by bringing the problem to his attention, he will begin considering your interests. If he doesn’t, it’s probably time to ask him to go with you to meet with a pastor or counselor.
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