Just recently, God awakened me to a subtle pattern of thinking that was starting to mess with my marriage. It’s a pattern of thinking that is prevalent in the secular world and it’s even touted by many therapists. It’s the thinking that says “My needs and desires are important and I need to do what’s best for me.”
Now don’t get me wrong. My needs and desires do matter. Your needs and desires are important. However, when I start to focus on getting my desires met, I can often start creating problems in my marriage. Ever so subtly, I start to forget about what’s in the best interest of my husband because I’m striving to get what I want, when I want it, and how I want it! This may be the way the world operates, but it’s not God’s way for us to live. In fact, God says in Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself. Each of you should look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others.”
So, before you start pushing for your husband to meet a specific desire of yours, ask God how your request will impact your husband. Will this be a burden for your husband? Will this be emotionally, spiritually, or physically draining for your husband? If so, is this really something God wants you to demand? Strive for balance. Look for ways to bless your husband, instead of solely focusing on how he should bless you!
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